"Whoa! wait? Huh? Is that? How did...? Are those ninjas?" (Me during the movie)
UGGHHHHHHHHH so yeah this movie happened. And I watched it. All of it. If it weren't for this blog, I would never speak of having seen it.
There are only two people who came out of this movie without being completely tainted by its awful: Jason Statham, and maybe maybe John Rhys-davies. Jason Statham manages to put no heart, soul, or effort, into his performance and therefore having had the courage to get a pay check and not try, he wins. I'm really not sure what could tarnish the career of JRD, but it takes more than this cinematic atrocity Everyone else in this movie is awful, and the fact that you could tell they were trying so hard made it all the worse.
In addition to the aforementioned terrible acting, In the Name of the King violates what should be a central tenant for those in the motion picture business. DO NOT MAKE MOVIES BASED ON VIDEO GAMES. When you do; In the Name of the King happens.
Finally, I have to give a particular many thumbs way down to the plot, direction, pace, and script of In the Name of the King. From start to finish, it makes no sense and is hard to follow. It lingers on plot, characters and themes that don't matter, and glosses over everything that would be important to the audience in favor of many many many terrible sweeping battle action sequences. Yeouch.
Ratings:
Uwe Bole: I don't know how you can redeem youself...but this was not a good showing for you.
Ray Liotta and Burt Reynolds: Skip it. Don't watch your own performances
Dates: Based on your awful choice of movies, you never got another one, did you?
Love to shake your head in shame?: Know that there is a direct to DVD sequel starring Dolph Lundgren
Cast of "She's all that"( 1998): Watch your alumni Mattew Lillard
On a scale of Kull the Conqueror to the bad guys of the movie "The Krug", I give In the Name of the King: a Dungeon Siege Tale 1.2 out of 5 stars.
Wow there is a sequel, we need to check it out. Well maybe....
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