Durotan: Can you hide your fat belly?
Draka: Better than you can hide your fat head.
And it is possible. A Warcraft movie beats expectations. You heard it here. Extra! Extra! Malcontent movie reviewer finds soul in mostly worthless MMORPG to cinema fiasco. Extra!
On a serious note, Warcraft: The Beginning somehow against all odds made me feel something positive. It's a trainwreck that one can look away from, but something about it wasn't just schlock.
I like to think the answer is casting Paula Patton and Clancy Brown. I'm huge fans of both and I credit them with being 100% of all of the watchable parts of Warcraft. (I know I asked why Paula wasn't in MI:Fallout.....this is why.)
As to why I was able to sit through the other parts, I'll really never know. I really just wanted them to say all the catchphrases I knew- "Zug Zug", "Loktar", "For the King!" etc.
Upon reflection, I realize that if they had abandon all the trappings of Warcraft and used the exact same plot and characters, this would have been an acceptable fantasy film. Making this the first instance I can think of where brand and engrained audience was not a technical asset. Honestly, I like the ideas of a horde abandoning their world dying of magical evil to spread it to verdent lands, led by a hideous hornspined mage dedicated to destruction. -the set up is all there, it's just Warcraft that seems lame.
One should not expect a direct sequel.
1.9 out of 5
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