A Star is Born (2018)

Jack: Can I tell you a secret?

[Ally looks over to him]

Jack: I think you might be a songwriter. And don't worry, I won't tell anybody. But I'm not very good at keeping secrets.

And we have a clear winner for the best film of 2018 so far and it's not even close.

1. Gaga is Cher but better. 3.0 if you will.
2. To my chagrin, Bradly Cooper can sing, well.    And direct with intention.
3. Sam Elliot is a confluence of soul, sadness, wisdom, and grit.

Here's how I knew I was watching something special. First, I clapped at the end of a performance in the theater just like if I had been in the scene. Second, I cried multiple times. And third, I remembered song lyrics and quotes instantly.

I can't recommend that people with or without souls see A Star is Born. A remake that doesn't make me want to talk about it.

4.28 out 5 stars.

Oh and yes, Andrew Dice Clay is back.

Lilo and Stitch

Lilo: IT'S FISH!! If I gave Pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store, to get peanut butter, because all we have is, is stinking tuna!!

Stitch: "'Ohana" means "family."

Yeah, I'd never seen this. Sometimes things like this just happen.

What an adorably sad sad movie. It's nothing special in the grand theme of things but, it is made me feel and that is worthy of praise to the creators.

oh and everyone could use more Hawaiian-era Elvis in their lives.

Looking backwards now it impossible that Disney knew or planned for this to be their animated release post 9-11 (obviously), but given that they made cuts and changes to avoid linking the movie to the tragedy, it was clearly on theirs and everyone's mind.

I've been thinking about a direct allegory between Stitch and the Post 9-11 era.  I know it's flimsy..but what is the point of a blog if not put out an untested idea?

Stitch, the fuzzy ball of chaos looking to escape and indestructibly irrational is America in 2002.
Stitch settles down with his new family, controlling his nature. So might America -eventually.

3.2 out of 5 stars

Camelot (1967)

"RUN boy!" -Wort

I am a fan of musicals. I think that my record (see the rest of this blog) is pretty clear on that. I even generally advocate for film adaptations to do their best to adhere to their source material for fidelity. However, there are times when this can go to far. Camelot is one of those.

Honestly, the film adaptation wastes all kinds of opportunities that are only available on film in favor sticking to the play, and thus the whole movie comes off as interminable and boring. I think its run time is about 3 hours excluding an intermission and an overture. *That's basically as long as the play version that I was a part of in 2002.

As the 11th best grossing film of 1967, I can understand why it has fallen into the blurs history, but the music is pretty good and that should count for a little.

2.7 out of 5 stars.

Moana (2016)

Tamatoa: Well, Tamatoa hasn't always been this glam
I was a drab little crab once.

Ground-breaking music but not a new story. Yet, the creators and actors are authentic artists and produce something of joy; a worthwhile experience.

I may be behind the time, but I think Lin-Manuel Miranda is talented. Just a hunch.

Usually, I am much more of traditionalist, musically. I like symmetry, repetition, choruses, catchy melodies, and structure. And Moana by design pays only lip service to these concepts. Yet, the music is gorgeous. It is free and unencumbered.

Allegories are specious at best, but what do you all think about Moana being a more mythic take on Ferngully:The Last Rainforest?  Islanders are more likely to be affected by climate change on this planet and I drew parallels between Moana's impetus for restoring the heart of Tafiti and a global need to see our planet as alive. (and angry.)

3.9 out of 5 stars. 

Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)

Samantha: [while helping an aching Reacher walk] Dude, you jumped off a building.

Jack Reacher: Yeah, I know.

Samantha: Did it hurt?

Jack Reacher: Yes.

Samantha: Did you see how high that was?

Jack Reacher: Can we possibly have this conversation some other time?

Seriously, just don't see this movie. It's not worth it. I was sick on a couch and didn't want to move. I regret it even then.  And it's not because of anything that Jack Reacher: Never Go Back did. It's more that it is. The formula is so pat that I think I lost some brain cells from not thinking.  Even the New Orleans stuff.

Take the movie's advice. Never go back.

On a fun point, Tom Cruise really is ageless.

2.0 out 5

Akira (1988)

Kaneda (2001 Pioneer dub): Hands up now! Where in the hell is the frickin baby room?

30 years ago Katsuhiro Otomo dreamed of a frightening, fantastic, brutalist future. His vision has dominated Anime and even Western animation since. The impact is so profound as that it is difficult to find any Anime since that doesn't draw on Akira as inspiration or as source material.

Here's what's wild.  I watched the 2001 version blueray 1280 and honestly, I couldn't tell the difference between Akira and any anime released since on a technical level. It is bloody, gory, and stunning.

To the point, if you haven't seen Akira, it's never too late.

4.1 out of 5 stars. -the plot is a little hard to follow but that's not the point.

Now to geek out.  So, it is currently 2018 and Akira is set in 1988's future of 2019- next summer to be exact.  And Tokyo is preparing for the summer games of 2020. Yeah....that's true in both our present and their neo-future.

1.  How did Katsuhiro Otomo know that Tokyo would win the Olympic bid for 2020 what with him destroying Tokyo as a part of WWIII?
2. Did someone in the Japanese government around 2000 just think that it would be cool to emulate the future of Akira?

But, my chief thought was why has the technology that they envisioned for our now not happened? For example....why did they think that biker gangs on high-end motorcycles would still be a thing? I've done some checkin with now and not only are biker gangs kinda dated, but motorcycles aren't all that different from what was available in 1988. Is it just that motorcycles embody teenage rebellion and thus it was easy to co-opt it as a future vehicle rather than invent something wild?

Finally, my thought process on gore has always been that each success attempt at producing nausea or disgust in audiences is met by someone or some concept that can 1-up it.  Gore is a field of escalaction dominance.  The most recent is a linear process from what came before.   But, then why does the viscera in Akira still make me wince when it's been out of date for 30 years. It's as if the laws of time and inoculation don't apply.

Warcraft (2016)

Durotan: Can you hide your fat belly?
Draka: Better than you can hide your fat head.

And it is possible. A Warcraft movie beats expectations. You heard it here. Extra! Extra! Malcontent movie reviewer finds soul in mostly worthless MMORPG to cinema fiasco. Extra!

On a serious note, Warcraft: The Beginning somehow against all odds made me feel something positive. It's a trainwreck that one can look away from, but something about it wasn't just schlock.

I like to think the answer is casting Paula Patton and Clancy Brown. I'm huge fans of both and I credit them with being 100% of all of the watchable parts of Warcraft. (I know I asked why Paula wasn't in MI:Fallout.....this is why.)

As to why I was able to sit through the other parts, I'll really never know. I really just wanted them to say all the catchphrases I knew- "Zug Zug", "Loktar", "For the King!" etc.

Upon reflection, I realize that if they had abandon all the trappings of Warcraft and used the exact same plot and characters, this would have been an acceptable fantasy film.  Making this the first instance I can think of where brand and engrained audience was not a technical asset. Honestly, I like the ideas of a horde abandoning their world dying of magical evil to spread it to verdent lands, led by a hideous hornspined mage dedicated to destruction. -the set up is all there, it's just Warcraft that seems lame.

One should not expect a direct sequel.

1.9 out of 5