Star Trek: First Contact (1996)

"The line must be drawn.  Here, here and no further!" (Jean-luc Picard)

In part 2 of my Star Trek athon, the noble crew of the Enterprise E travel back in time to confront the Evil Borg and wrestle with the virtues of humanity's place in the stars.  Of the Next Gen movies this one is the clear winner.  The baddies are actually bad, the writing not so wooden, and the jokes reasonably funny.  I liked the space walk battle sequence and basically any time Picard yells.

I'm going to venture off now and muse about a growing trend in Origin Stories.  Lots of movies now days seem to insist on an back story for original motivation in any movie.  Tony Stark is atoning for his previous playboy decadence and achieving respect from his father.  The Wolverine feels betrayed for loves lost.  Yada yada yada.  But, now that I think about it, the Borg don't have a back story.  They are just evil.  Pure. No conscience.  Only perfection.  Part of me wishes the creators of the Start Trek Universe to create a back story, but somehow  the mystery and juggernaut mentality of The Borg might be lost.  I will give credit to Stargate SG1 for the origins of the replicators.  One android was lonely and shunned.  It made friends.

Ratings:
Collective Farmers:  See it
Rock and Rollers:  See it
Revisionist historians: See it
Cameo spotters:  Adam Scott, James Cromwell and a litany of other Trek alumni
Screen writers:  Witness how dumb and ham handed Worf is thrown into the movie, then think about how little anyone cares.

On a scale from Greatest in the World to the Champions of all time in this ominverse, I give Star Trek: First Contact 3.6 out of 5 stars.

Star Trek: Generations (1994)

"Computer! Remove the plank!" (Commander William T. Riker)

Ughhhhh so I went on a binge of Star Trek movies over the holidays and now my blog is going to be filled with movies of general insignificance.

Star Trek Generations is at best a B+, 3 part TNG episode that some how got made into a feature film.  It stilted and quirky (especially Mr. Data). If it weren't for the destruction of the Enterprise D...it wouldn't have been all that thrilling.

Ratings:

Cameos: Alan Ruck (Cameron from Ferris Bueller), Malcom McDowell (Cray Cray, Obvi), and Tim Russ (I assume for continuity with that one flashback Voyager episode.)

Shatner:  *Is will William Shatner in this movie? (Crow T Robot.)
                No (Tom Servo)
                Whew, we're safe. (Crow T Robot)

Fans of pure joy:  Skip it. Picard and Kirk's nexus fantasies of pure joy are actually kind of lame.

Plot hole busters:  Of course.  They can go to great lengths to create new better eyes for Geordi LaForge, but Picard is still bald?  They can't cure male pattern baldness?  Or wait. is Picard bald by choice?

Curse breakers:  See it.  I believe this movie to break the curse of that odd numbered Star Trek movies are abysmal.  This one is just mediocre, but with Shatner and Stewart.

On a scale of "Trilithium" to Unobtainium, I give Star Trek: Generations 3 out of 5 stars.



  

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

"I have faced the great serpents of the north!" (Thranduil)

Epic story telling has many challenges. If the cast, crew, writers, director, and everyone is focused, these hurdles no longer appear to be insurmountable barriers but rather stepping stones that raise our expectations and sense of wonder. In the case of The Desolation of Smaug the challenges stem from the scope and travel log-esque qualities of the book.  (In a book, one has the liberty and freedom to let one's mind embrace the descriptions and truth that makes up a fantasy realm.  In a movie, all of this must be presented for consumption, in very short order.)  In particular, I was struck by how quickly The Desolation of Smaug pushes the pace of the film through its various locals.  Each one presented its own unique challenges, like motion, palpability, and acoustic grandeur.

Mirkwood had to exude the feelings and confusion that are so essential to the mystique established in the book. I don't know how, but Mirkwood, in fact, seemed claustrophobic and heavy with miasma, while the top of the canopy was alive and fresh.  If I understood how this was accomplished I might have less adoration, but as it stands, I was impressed.

The barrel escape sequence, which I felt was the action climax of the film, was where I feel Director Peter Jackson may have adapted his solution to meet the needs of film continuity.  I feel that slower, grander, long shot form battle sequences work better for fantasy epics, as was the case with The original LOTR trilogy.  They showcase better swordplay, allow for musical exultation, and enhance audience anticipation. My expectation was that Peter Jackson would use the same techniques.  However, upon reflection the idea of doing long shots and samurai like fight sequences is ludicrous when one places the notion in the context of a rapidly moving river.  The terrain is uneven, the battlescape rapidly changing, and the camera requirements outrageous.  So, in the end  Peter Jackson's solution is to opt for the rapid pace, frequent cut approach to creating tension and frenetic action.  It works.  I think it was the best solution to the challenges.

Finally, I thought the acoustic effects of Erebor were fantastic.  The idea that sound is essential to establishing the immensity of an old structure is quite brilliant.  Once Bilbo and the other dwarves enter the mountain, everything echos, clicks on the hard basalt or granite, and booms into the roots of the mountain.  It adds to the danger Smaug represents.  In that hallowed hollowed place, one's demise would only echo for brief period and then disappear.      

Ratings:

Pompous Town Leaders:  Skip it, I didn't really like Stephen Fry in this movie. (sad, bummer)
Elven Sentry Guards: Skip it, you are made to look like Paul Blart
Visionary Filmmakers:  See it
Cannonists:  See it so you can meticulously note deviations from the book.  (Just don't tell me all about it.)
Looking for a quality movie for the 2013 holiday season?:  See it

On a scale of Class B fire http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_classes to Dragon fire, I give The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 3.87 out of 5 stars and look forward to part III next year.





  

Roadhouse (1989)

"All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice." -Dalton

"If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal." -Dalton

Road House!!  (Clap, clap, clap)  Is it possible there is a better movie made for post 2am hanging out on the couch with some whisky? For guys....mayhaps not.  Is Roadhouse stupid? Yes. Is it worthwhile?  No. And the all important: Is it boring? Absolutely and vigorously, No.

Here's the gist of why Road House is awesome.  Plot: Renaissance poet bouncer Dalton, comes to a small-ish town run by a bad man.  He beats people up and saves the day and gets the girl.  Yup, Classic.  Oh and he rips a guy's throat out too!

There really is no apparent reason as to why Road House has such a cult following.  Maybe people yearn for simpler times when Patrick Sweazy could lay the smackdown at bar without it resulting in lawyers?  Perhaps, it has something to do with how cheap it sold for, and was thus ubiquitous on late night cable from say 1990-1999?  Maybe people just love movies with Sam Elliot?  And of course, who doesn't love a film with minor actor, most times pro-wrestler. Terry Funk?

Ratings:  

Ever actually been in a bar fight?:  See it
You were a macho bar miscreant in the 80?: See it
You got a degree in religious studies/philosophy but ended up a bouncer: See it
Ben Gazzara: I was sad to find out that you had passed away, but in Road House you looked so much like Neil Diamond I kinda wish you had been.  

2am and looking for bad action movie that definitely isn't boring? See it

On a scale from accidental success to systemic and planned failure, I give Road House 3 out of 5 stars.

    

    

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)

"She'll see it later honey. Her eyes are frozen over." -Ellen Griswold

On the 24th anniversary of Christmas Vacation, I decided to take in what I used to consider a classic and a gut-busting treat.  It is unfortunate that either I have become numb to joy or Christmas Vacation is not as funny or raucous as I remember.  I will never be convinced that Christmas Vacation is not awesome due to my early 90s childhood associations.  It may not be true, but it is my right to be obstinate.    

So here is a list of differences and how I felt about them.

Uncle Eddie is just sad and crass as opposed to cheap and hilarious
Clark Griswold is far more of an asshole than the lovable dad that I thought
Audrey is not funny.  She is just a whiny 80s teenager
Uncle Bethany and Uncle Lewis are just sad and in need of medical attention.  They should not be living alone.
Julia Dreyfus would sue the Griswolds so badly.
The sledding scene is still awesome if a bit campy and out of control.

On a scale of seeing Three ships on Christmas Day to One epic Christmas Night, I give National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 3.4 out of 5 stars.  

My idiot brother (2011)

"You used to be hot.  Hot and tall.  You're still tall." -Zoey Deschanel to Emily Mortimer

I like Paul Rudd.  Turns out he is pretty awesome.  Our Idiot Brother is a semi-launch platform for Paul to prove his awesom-itude and lovable acting chops.  On the other hand, there really is very little new, unique, or redeeming about Our Idiot Brother beyond its ridiculously talented cast.  There's nothing wrong with it, it's just a ho hum formulaic not quite comedy.

Oh and a not to the casting agent:  I in no way believe that Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, and Zoey Deschanel came from the same mother and father.  To have 1 extremely attractive daughter is believable....to have 3 is just too much.

Ratings
Rashida Jones:  Loved you with the big glasses and all
Kato and Inspector Clouseau:  YES
Good Hippie People:  See it
Thinking about lying?:  See it
Ugly member of an incredibly attractive family?:  Skip it

On a scale of Brian Fantana to Mike Hannigan, I give Our Idiot Brother 3 out of 5 stars.

Rush (2013)

"20% that is the acceptable risk" (Nikki Lauda)

Another Ron Howard film: Another success.  Perhaps Ron Howard is just uniquely capable of teasing out an exciting story from just about anything? In the case of Rush, I was particularly struck by how masterfully Ron took control of the story and didn't let it stray.  Any other director (and I've seen many of these movies) might have taken a racing story and thus made sure that the movie contained a great deal of Action Action Action.  Racing Racing Racing would have been the order of Rush.  Lucky for us, Ron Howard believes in quality actors and adherence to emotionally connective storytelling.  Racing is, in fact, kind a boring over the course of a movie.  Quality drama and passion is not.

Ratings:
Chris Hemsworth:  I really only knew you as Thor.  Now, I want to see you in more things.
F1 racing enthusiasts:  See it
Italian racecar wannabees:  See it
Deathwishers:  See it
Squeemish around real gore?:  Skip it

On a scale of Geoger Zimmer to Hans Zimmer, I give Rush 3.8 out of 5 stars.