"All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice." -Dalton
"If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal." -Dalton
Road House!! (Clap, clap, clap) Is it possible there is a better movie made for post 2am hanging out on the couch with some whisky? For guys....mayhaps not. Is Roadhouse stupid? Yes. Is it worthwhile? No. And the all important: Is it boring? Absolutely and vigorously, No.
Here's the gist of why Road House is awesome. Plot: Renaissance poet bouncer Dalton, comes to a small-ish town run by a bad man. He beats people up and saves the day and gets the girl. Yup, Classic. Oh and he rips a guy's throat out too!
There really is no apparent reason as to why Road House has such a cult following. Maybe people yearn for simpler times when Patrick Sweazy could lay the smackdown at bar without it resulting in lawyers? Perhaps, it has something to do with how cheap it sold for, and was thus ubiquitous on late night cable from say 1990-1999? Maybe people just love movies with Sam Elliot? And of course, who doesn't love a film with minor actor, most times pro-wrestler. Terry Funk?
Ratings:
Ever actually been in a bar fight?: See it
You were a macho bar miscreant in the 80?: See it
You got a degree in religious studies/philosophy but ended up a bouncer: See it
Ben Gazzara: I was sad to find out that you had passed away, but in Road House you looked so much like Neil Diamond I kinda wish you had been.
2am and looking for bad action movie that definitely isn't boring? See it
On a scale from accidental success to systemic and planned failure, I give Road House 3 out of 5 stars.
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