21 Jump Street (2012)

Sometimes there is a movie.  It is bad.  It is great.  It has great lines.  It has horrifying make me want to go clean my ears out Shakespeare lines.  It has bad acting.  It has great acting.  Such is the duality of 21 Jump Street The Movie.  21 was just tongue and cheek enough to get away with claiming from the get go as eloquently stated by Ron Swanson from Parks and Rec: "The department is re-initiating a defunct program from the 80's, meaning they are all out of ideas."  Straight.  To the point.  Well played.  They cap the whole thing off with the greatest cameo I have witnessed in 5 years (I won't spoil it by telling who).  Above and beyond any serious critiques of the film, I compliment the actors on being able to deliver their lines with punch and "up the funny" and to the writers and directors for exemplary use of explosions.  Oh and doves.

Ratings:

Slim Shady:  There's just so many of you

High School fashion trend watchers:  See it

Plot lovers:  Skip it

ICE-CUBE lovers:  See it

Physical comedians:  See it

On a scale from Piranhas 3D to Piranhas 5D, I give 21 Jump Street 3.0000000000007 out of 5 stars.  

 

The People vs. George Lucas (2010)

If from previous posts you readers haven't guessed that I like Star Wars, I would be surprised.  (I like Star Wars.)  However, while I am a huge nerd, I am not a "fan boy".  I like to feel that I obsess within the bounds of reason and tact.  I am of the opinion that George Lucas gave us Star Wars.  (THANK YOU!!!!)  We loved it.  We thought it perfect.  He thought it unfinished.  He remade his originals.  He has has every right to change his originals.  I wish he hadn't, but.....  We have every right to complain, but very little moral right to hate him to the level that people do.  Star Wars I, II, and III and the remakes didn't actually hurt anyone, put anyone in jeopardy, or cause intentional distress.  I don't find episodes I, II, or III to be entirely objectionable.  (Yeah, they are not great....Whatever...seldom do sequels or in this case 4ths 5ths or 6ths compare to the original.)  It's actually sort of sad in my opinion that we can't "Let go, fans" and trust the force.  I guess that would be too Jedi of us.

I do wish he would keep the originals around for historical re-release, and that he would just own up to the Star Wars Christmas Special.  -Let it go.  Sometimes, great men make crap.

Ratings:

Fan Boys: Skip it  (You've already passed judgement.)

Jedis:  Skip it  (You probably had a premonition about the future about his movie.)

Sith:  See it  (Revel in chaos.)

Got two free hours:   Do what ever seems best

Never seen Star Wars: Skip it   (Don't let all this spoil the magic that was/is Star Wars.)

On a scale of Ron Gant to Kent Hrbek, I give The People vs. George Lucas 3.0 out of 5 stars.
  

Everything Must Go (2010)

Impressive.  Most impressive.  A sad sad movie from start to finish.  It's refreshing to just have unleavened sorrow in film.  I even felt sort of wrong that I was drinking a beer while watching a movie about a man's struggle with alcoholism.  (It's very serious.)  I give a very serious tip of my cap to Will Ferrell for agreeing to be in this movie and taking a true dramatic leap.  I also thought the concept of having all of your possessions out on your lawn on the worst day of your life was rather touching and strangely accessible.  It made me think about all the useless stuff I have in my life that I never use.  I might just feel better without it all.  Take that materialism.

Ratings:

Divorced:  See it  (It could be cathartic........?)

Business savvy:  See it  (Learn the social cultural pitfalls.)

Garage sale-aholic:  See it

Couples:  Skip it

Possessionsists:  See it

On a scale of cod liver oil to sunshine, I give Everything Must Go 3.75 out of 5 stars.

Ultimate Avengers I & II (2006)

I really kept the geek-in going by going home and netflixing UA1, but then was surprised when a friend said "Didn't you see UA2?".  So I ended up watching both.  Animation masterpieces they are were not.  They relied heavily on that the viewer already knew what was going on, offered little to no background information, and didn't really challenge the status quo for Avengers.  They were cool enough for a made for DVD animated feature.  I have to say that sometimes even I get a little confused as to the relationships between HYDRA, the Nazis, and the Vibranium coated Aliens, but I guess I just think about this stuff too much sometimes.  The best character from the cartoon is clearly Thor.  So woohoo to reasonably well made cartoons.

Ratings

Girl Scouts:  skip it

Raining outside:  See it

Can't sleep on a Thursday night:  See it

Mad Scientist about to take over the world:  Skip it

Double Feature Date:  Skip it

On a scale from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean, I give Ultimate Avengers I & II 2.6 out of 5 stars.    

The Avengers (2012)

This movie is great.  It as directed by Joss Wheadon, so I was cautiously optimistic.  (Firefly, Dollhouse, Buffy, Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog, Serenity, Toy Story, nuff' said.)  I'm not actually going to talk about the story, film process, or special effects today. -They were superb.  I also fully acknowledge that The Avengers will not go down as an AFI top 100 and probably will not be discussed at length in 30 years.  Great movie, Super, I loved it.  Movie industry game changing?.....not really.  But that wasn't really its goal.

What I do want to rant about is movie going expectations, and how to meet/manage them.  In the past, I have spoke to friends about why Road House deserves to be called an amazing movie.  It's not actually that great, but as a film, it knows exactly what it is supposed to be and delivers on all counts.  No one is every disappointed by Road House.  And so today, I claim that I found a movie of similar quality in The Avengers.  There are no pretensions in this film.  It is what it is.  It set out to be a visual spectacle with monsters superheroes, and a whole lot of fun.  It succeeded.  That in itself make it worth seeing.  You will not be disappointed.  The real reason I tip my cap to this movie and Joss Wheadon is that it had so much potential to fail, but yet didn't.  We've known this movie was coming out since Iron Man in 2008.  It stars 7 legitimate lead actors (RDJR, Thor, Samuel, Cap'n, Hulk, Jeremy Renner, and Scarlet Jo) and Robin Sparkles. Oh and did I mention that "The Avengers" as cannon are sacrosanct to fan boys everywhere.  In my mind, there was in fact no way to meet expectations.  Joss Wheadon you are a genius.

Everybody:  See it

Chaplin:  See it  (Your style slapstick.)

Gods:  See it  (Know what we are capable of.)

Students of film:  See it  (Shot selection is out of control cool.)

Curmudgeons:  See it  (Even you won't leave disappointed.)

On a scale of lobster to filet minon, I give The Avengers 4.2 out of 5 stars.         

Serenity (2005)

I'm prejudice.  I like what I like.  Sci-fi is awesome.  Quirky, silly, well written sci-fi is incredible when done properly.  Quasi-rustlers-smugglers with pirate/cowboy morals in a half-English half-Chinese universe of hazard are in fact the best.  Basically, space cowboys are amazing.  Like I said, I'm prejudice.  Things I love about this movie:  Summer Glau and her fight sequences, great dialogue- (I am leaf on the wind, watch how I soar; or This girl is seriously starting to damage my calm; or Do you know what your sin is?), extreme continuity with the short lived series, Chinese cursing, and Reavers.  If you don't go into the theater with an open mind and love for all of the former, I would expect Serenity to make little sense, and but still entertain.  A goodhearted geek-in is always in order.   

Ratings:

Fan Boys:  Skip it  (Sometimes your enthusiasm and pretensions detract for first-timers.  Besides, you've already seen it more than once.)

George Lucas:  See it  (I just think you like good movies.)

Nathan Fillion:  Keep the DVD on your mantel placed in higher honor than any Castle DVDs.

Members of Congress:  See it  (Know that your kind exists in the future.)

Saffron :  See it  (A showing of Serenity might be the highest concentration of easy marks within a confined area ever.)

On a scale of !!!!!!!! to !!!!!, I give Serenity 4 out of 5 stars.