Friday, January 27, 2012

Take Me Home Tonight (2011)



Ready for another 80's flashback?  Want to see another 80's flashback movie?  Can stand to see one more 80's flashback movie?  If yes....then Take Me Home Tonight is as totally passable and amusing as it gets.  Gnarly.  While I actually do appreciate this movie.  It's pretty good.  I also feel like it confirms my theory that the 80's are the new 60's.  The cultural touchstone of all generations.  Generational shift has occurred.  The awful dayglow 80's have taken their rightful place as retro-hip before drifting into blase only to be picked up again by punk supposedly un-conformist teenagers in the the mid 2020's.  There were many things I liked about this movie.  First, the characters blatantly use cocaine.  This was a good modern day movie decision.  Second, while completely stupid and unnecessary, the huge metal ball was awesome.  Watching it smash some cars was quite excellent.  Lastly, the soundtrack was picture perfect and a tribute to the decadent 80's.  C'mon Elieen. C'mon Elieen.    

Ratings

Hairsprayers:  See it

Eddie Money:  See it  (You'll get royalties from yourself.)

Post College Kids:  Skip it

Lived in the 80's:  Skip it

Didn't live in the 80's:  See it

On a rating from Carter to Clinton, I give Take Me Home Tonight 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Happythankyoumoreplease (2010)

 

It is nice sometimes to go into a movie with no expectations and find out that the movie is perfectly "good".  That's how I feel about Happythankyoumoreplease.  The script is quick, witty, and well crafted.  I really liked the segue of " I'm not going to stay here tonight" to "One night?  No.  You're going to stay here three nights."  Nice job Josh Radnor.  Additionally, Kate Mara should be cast in more things.  She seems to be a very capable actress in addition to her obvious physical beauty.  On the downside, there are no particularly memorable characters or scenes from Happythankyoumoreplease that make it worth truly going out of one's way to see.  This may be my perfect example of a "good" but highly forgettable film.

Ratings

Neil Patrick Harris:  See it

"Big Brothers":  See it

Hipsters:  Saw it before it was on netflix

Bro's night:  Skip it

One movie to watch forever only:  Skip it

On a scale of rootamoose to mashed potatoes, I give Happythankyoumoreplease 2.55 out of 5 stars.  

    

How to Be a Player (1997)



I wonder if Bernie Mac lists this movie under his credits on a one page resume?  My hunch says no.  How to Be a Player met basically all of my prior assumptions about it.  Yes, Dre (Bill Bellamy) is a "player".  In Dre's crew, he is the only "player".  Dre's shrill sister and friend are on a quest to bust him in front of all his ladies and make him repent.  Dre is so smooth one thinks he is going to get away with all of it until the very end (Dun DUn DUHHHHH).  The only thing that really surprised me about How to Be a Player was that it was not as derogatory or hurtful towards women as it possibly could have been.  Way to have a modicum of class Def Jam productions.  It also was at least interesting to see that the directors and producers took time out to at least touch on quite a few issues in the mid-90s African American community.  There was not overarching thesis....but discussion is better than nothing.

Dr. Dre:  Seen it (I think)

USA (up all night):  Play it again

BET:  See it.

Players:  Skip it

Haters:  Skip it

On a scale from Peabo Bryson to Luther Vandross, I give How to Be a Player 2.3 of 5 stars.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Brave Little Toaster (1987)



Hmmm for a story that had very little meat and such a simple plot Brave Little Toaster was far more than met the eye.  The characters were fully developed, (cute....but developed).  I thought blanket made for a wonderful surprise.  Hard to make a animated mobile character out of a squishy blankee.  Here is what I thought was most interesting about Brave Little Toaster: it reminded me of Toy Story and upon some research...it turns out the people who worked on Toy Story first worked on Brave Little Toaster.  Here were the similarities.  Themes included growing up, abandonment, return to childhood innocence, the march of time, and objects banding together to reunite with their owner.  The final scene was even in a junkyard with a compaction
machine that looked like the one from Toy Story III.  Basically, it was Toy Story BETA .5.

Ratings:

Woody and Buzz: See it

Got fond memories of your blankee:  See it

Demand action from your films:  Skip it

Over 40 ish:  Skip it

Film History Buff:  See it

On a scale of Sword in the Stone to The Black Cauldron, I give the Brave Little Toaster 2.7 out of 5 stars.

Afterward:  I see that there is a Brave Little Toaster goes to Mars movie.  That can't be good...but it'll probably make this blog sometime later.  

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Stargate (1994)



Stargate has aged incredibly well.  It is difficult for me to separate the movie from the 10 years of the TV series and 2 separate spin offs.  With that in mind, looking back in this film was nerdy and enjoyable.  One of the things that stuck out about my viewing on this occasion was the decision of the movie producers not to break with reality, as traditional sci-fi does, and have everyone speak English.  I loved that a great deal of the dialogue isn't even given subtitles.  The film makers made a bold decision to let ancient languages just be....  I liked it.  It added another layer of authenticity.  To be clear there are many better sci-fi films and the acting was merely above acceptable.  But, the concept was "cool" and that was really all that mattered.

McGyver:  See it

Apophis:  See it

True Nerds:  Seen it several times

Jersey Shore Folk:  Skip it

True Historians:  Skip it

On a scale of push pops to ring pops, I give Stargate 2.9 out of 5 stars.  

Female Convict Scorpion Jailhouse 41 (女囚蠍 第41 雑居棒) 1972



Whoa!  Female Convict Scorpion is strictly crazy.  I loved it's seventies style.  The music and shot choices were just about perfect.  It made me wonder at one point if Rob Marshall got some of his shot ideas on character soliloquy and character introductions from this movie.  It was very very "Chicago" esque.    Meiko Kaji was excellent.  Specifically, I have always been of the opinion that mute main characters make for lousy cinema.  This movie breaks that rule.  Meiko (Scorpion) doesn't have a single line of dialogue until about 3 minutes from the finish.  Yet, she was mesmerizing in her role.  Unfortunately, this movie presents a extremely dire and horrific view of males as a group.  They rape.  They cheat.  They lie. They dominate.  And while that may be the intent of this so called "pink film", I thought that such a well crafted film could have presented a more nuanced idea then: MEN=BAD.

Ratings:

Smoldering with anger Vixens:  See it

Jail Wardens:  See it

Chauvinists:  Skip it

Enka Fans:  See it

Silent Film Stars:  See it

On a scale from Cleopatra 2525 to Firefly, I give Female Convict Scorpion 3.6 out of 5 stars.      

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Paul McCartney Really is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison (2010)



This movie was borderline disgraceful.  If it was the intent of the creator to create Paul McCartney Really is Dead (PMRD) as a tongue and cheek indictment of conspiracy nuts then I have just marginally below begrudging respect for the endeavor.  But, it seems the PMRD was conceived with sincerity making its quality and content all the more awful.  However, if you are a Beatles fan and would like to indulge and alternate universe fantasy complete with plastic surgery fake Paul aka "Faul", an MI5 agent named Maxwell, a super fan name Rita, and over the top unnecessary references to "The Walrus", 10 out of 10.  Here is the best part of my experience watching this: I thought it was over at about 34 minutes and then was disappointed that the film had 70 minutes remaining.

Ratings

Paul McCartney/ "Faul" William Campbell: See it  

MI5 Agents:  See it.....wait I thought MI6 was the secret agent department....MI5 probably saw the movie in 1966 and realized it was ludicrous then.

Lizard People: Skip it

Ringo: Skip it  (They're never very kind to you.)

ti eeS :srevoL eulC sdrawkcaB

On a rating of Deerhoof to BioDome, I give Paul McCartney Really is Dead: The Last Testament of George Harrison 1.0 out of 5 stars.  (Mostly as pity for making me laugh.)


Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)




I went into this movie with high expectations.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid is rated #50 on the AFI top 100 list.  That any of my expectations were met is an astounding compliment.  Robert Redford and Paul Newman are just that cool.  The quotes of the movie still resonate today.  

Butch Cassidy: "If he'd just pay me what he's spending to make me stop robbing him, I'd stop robbing him."


Butch Cassidy "Boy, I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals."

Sundance Kid: Well, I think I'll get saddled up and go looking for a woman. 
Butch Cassidy: Good hunting. 
Sundance Kid: Shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I'm not picky. As long as she's smart, pretty, and sweet, and gentle, and tender, and refined, and lovely, and carefree... 

It was like watching what Brad Pitt and George Clooney wished they were.  Besides the acting what was even more impressive was the way in which the story was shot and the choice of shots included.  It's hard to make a true to life several day horseback tracking seem exciting on film.  Everything is just so far away and very little of the action is bold enough to necessarily have to be filmed.  Yet, hats off to the directors and actors for making it a chase for the ages.  

Ratings:

Mustache enthusiasts: See it

Cowboy Wannabes:  See it

Comedic Duos: Must see

Ladies infatuated with roguishly charming bad boys: See it

Historians: Skip it

On a rating of rhubarb pie to strawberry rhubarb pie, I give Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid 4.0 out of 5 stars.  
   

Monday, January 16, 2012

Nacho Libre (2006)



Jack Black is a funny man.  Nacho Libre was profoundly unfunny.  It did have it's moments: when the small fat boy gave Jack his mother's special machete, and Jack's off the turnbuckle to the outside flying finish.  But those moments could not make up for how much this film missed the mark.  This comedy played flat on me from start to finish.  I hated Jack Black's pseudo accent, and his co-star Hector Jimenez was completely forgettable.  Even jokes and situational gags about trying to confess one's feeling for a nun were off the mark and not particularly funny.

Ratings:

Real Luchadores:  Skip it

Macho Man on a cloud up above:  Skip it

Jack Black Enthusiasts:  See it, Skip it...Whatever, if you are into him that much just pick a DVD at random from your collection.

Somber Priests:  See it

Half Sleeping on the Couch because Football isn't on on a Sunday afternoon and Nacho Libre just happens to be on TV:  Meh...no real need to change the channel, but if you're getting up

On a scale of Extra mild Pace to Habaneros, I give Nacho Libre 1.7 out of 5 stars.      

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Sword of Doom (1966)



So...I've been meaning to see this movie for quite sometime.  It was well worth it.  Admittedly, I have a predilection for Japanese films -samurai films in particular.  This one is an allegory of Buddhism wrapped in the clinically psychotic decent of a prodigal swordsman.  But the best part of this heavy handed plot is that it doesn't matter.  This movie is all style and flash.  The actors were spectacular.  Tatsuya Nakadai was out of control in his final 5 minute plus sword rage. Cinematically this movie also took major risks in its shot choices.  It relied heavily on shots that have the actor speaking directly to the audience.  No angle tricks.  Just straight speech to the people.  Besides the stark black and white contrast this film exuded the soundscape of Sword of Doom was like a slightly jazzed up drum heavy Hitchcock fusion.  Yeah, Sword of Doom is slow, ponderous and the plot is hard to figure if you aren't well versed in Japanese history, but who cares?  It's full of rage filled sword fights and samurai.

Ratings:

Shogunates: See it

Dates of any kind: Skip it

Pilgrams on the road between Edo and Kyoto: See it

Hate subtitles:  You obviously skipped it

True Badasses: See it

On a scale of goya to grapefruit, I give Sword of Doom 3.2 out of 5 stars.

    

Walk the Line (2005)



Bio pics are hard to pull off.  Walk the line does a very nice job.  The life of Johnny cash could probably be told in 5 different ways with 5 different themes for 5 very different yet all true bio pics.  James Marigold and the writing staff did an excellent job sifting through the layers of Cash to come up with a sensible story and coherent message throughout the movie.  I'm not sure that I would have started and stopped at purely post the Folsom prison concert.  But, it was a true and bold decision for the love story they chose to tell.  I thought Joaquin Phoenix's performance was very detailed but a little bit stilted and quirky.  However, this was totally forgiven due to his impeccable vocal performances on the musical tracks.  The real surprise of this film was Reese Witherspoon.  I've never truly appreciated her acting ability before.  She was lovely.  A spot on June Carter Cash.  I was not surprised that she won the Oscar for it.

Ratings

Hot New Country Enthusiasts: Skip it

Old Dirty Country Aficionados: See it

Slurred Sttuttererers:  See it

Good ol' Boys: See it

Gospel-ers: Skip it

On a scale of Phantom Menace to New Hope, I give Walk the Line 3.6 out of 5 stars.
  

Saturday, January 14, 2012

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)



This movie probably pitched itself.  Presenter went into boardroom and said this sentence: "we want to make a movie about vikings and dragons where eventually the vikings ride dragons".  That's all you probably need to get funding for a movie.  Overall, those vikings ride dragons.  It's every little Minnesota boy's dream.  The voice work was excellent, and the plot held up.  That was all this movie had to do.  It surpassed these goals with reasonable ease and for that Kudos.

Additional fun facts:  Voice actors included Kristin Wig, (Dr. Who) David Tennant, Jonah Hill, and my favorite Bablyon 5 geek out Robin Atikin Downes.  

Ratings

Curmudgeons: Skip it

5-13 year old boy: See it

25-old fan boys: See it

Adults at heart: Skip it

Nicol Bolas:  Skip it

On scale of D-wars to Dragon Heart, I give How to Train Your Dragon 2.9 out of 5 stars.

Sherlock Holmes: a Game of Shadows (2011)



Sherlock Holmes: a Game of Shadows is good movie.  I like it.  The plot was thin.  It was filled with loose connections that didn't make sense, and the finishing conclusion based on "clues" given was specious, convoluted, and ridiculous.  So naturally, I liked it.  What I did like about this movie was strictly the style and the pure character interconnection that drove Robert Downy and Judd law to excess.  For the record, while I do not in anyway belittle the prowess of RD Jr. I think Judd Law is a better actor on the whole.  I'm always torn  between whether Guy Ritchie is a great director or not.  I actually thought that this movie would have failed without his skilled hand at the helm.  The idea of future forecasting fight sequences was really quite brilliant.  Additionally, if the movie was smooth and balanced, audiences would become bored quickly by the plot and the movie would have failed miserably.  Nice job Guy.

Ratings:

Warmongers: Skip it

Fans of European Architecture: See it

Bantter-aphiles: See it

Reality Clingers: Skip it

Frenatics: See it

On a scale of Bologna to Pastrami I give Sherlock Holmes: a Game of Shadows 2.8 stars out of 5.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Knocked Up (2007)



Knocked up seemed to be of two minds on the subject pregnancy, commitment, and relationships.  In my experience, divergent themed movies don't tend to work out well.  On one hand the movie did an excellent job creating the story of a man with no ambition, who after impregnating a woman, finds his inner spark and starts his own life.  Most of the jokes made fall into the "denial" stage of grief management.  Our heroin's journey is a strict and standard work/life balance drama.  Conversely, the movie presents a  supposedly happy couple that is in denial on the opposite end of the spectrum of relationships.  Obviously, I think the story is supposed to be amorphous and messy.  After all, that is the way of life.  But, somewhere I missed in all the jokes any sort of clear message that would have vaulted this movie out of it's paradigm. As it stands it is just a very good, very funny, bi-polar rom-com.  All the actors did excellent jobs.  I like Harold Ramis in just about anything.  Additionally, Jason Segel and Jonah Hill were above averagely funny.

Ratings:

First date high schoolers:  See it

Gurus:  Skip it

People who love being lazy:  See it

Fans of one-line ziggers:  See it

Romantics waiting for perfection:  Skip it

On a scale of Chester Cheetah to Count Chokula, I give Knocked Up 2.9 out of 5 stars.

Monday, January 9, 2012

West Side Story (1961)

File:West Side Story Poster.gif 

There are many reasons why West Side Story is considered a classic.  I knew parts of all the songs without having seen the movie.  I've even had people snap their fingers and say "boy boy crazy boy, be cool boy"  when they wanted me to calm down.  Allusions to this movie are now to be expected as part of common vernacular.  The camera work is classy professional and above all "cool".  Each shot could literally be turned into a still frame and sold separately.  Everybody dances like a fiend.  There are dance movies and then there are "dance" movies.  The only other time on film I've been so impressed with choreography was "Thriller".  They actually dance to bebop.  The actors are very good.  I liked George Chakiris as Bernardo.  I have critiques of the movie too.  The movie is kind of slow.  The opening credits are way way way way too long by today's standards; (perhaps, we the audience have grown impatient?). The song about "Officer Krupki" is wonderful but does not move the plot forward and probably would be left on the editing room floor today.  So many movies from this era do not stand the test of time.  West Side Story does.  This movie is a gem.  

Ratings:

Gangs of any sort: See it

Mambo lovers:  See it

Just hate "dance" on principle:  Skip it

Elitist Shakespeare snobs: Skip it

Shakespeare enthusiasts:  See it

On a scale of Herman's Hermits to the Beatles, I give "West Side Story" 4.3 out of 5 stars.

         

Friday, January 6, 2012

Star Trek (2010)



Remakes of classics are pointless and silly.  If the original was that good, don't mess it up by doing it all again.  Luckily, Star Trek (2009) is not a remake.  In fact, it is new age romp that purposefully exiles itself from all of its previous incarnations.  If anything, it took the canvas of Gene Roddenberry, painted a Van Gogh swirly starry night background on it and topped it off with a Basquiate finish.  No apologies.  This is a Star Trek movie.  It's just a teenage rebel version.  The casting of this movie is brilliant.  I loved Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, and Jon Cho (oh hohoho how they bring back the OS fencing nonsense.)  This continues my ongoing love affair with everything J.J Abrams.

Ratings:

KHAAAAAAANNNN:  See it (know thy enemy.)

Nerds without a well developed general sense of humor:  Skip it

Nerds who don't need validation:  See it

Rick Berman: Skip it (it's your choice.)

Humpback Whales:  See it

On a scale of Heroes Season 2  to Heroes Season 1, I give Star Trek (2009) 3.2 stars out of 5.  

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Hot Shots: Part Deux (1993)



This movie was awesome.  Simultaneously, nothing about this movie was worthwhile or remotely close to being acceptable.  Hence, I loved it.  Here is the plot: (watch Rambo III).  This movie seemed to be on the same wave length as "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun".  Those were also completely stupid and amazing.  The theory seems to be to just throw as many jokes on the screen as can conceivably fit into a feature presentation and see how many connect with the audience.  if the answer is above 30%, you have just made a classic.  Jokes that I liked:  Charlie Sheen (He was so ripped in the movie it defied reason.); when Lloyd bridges destroys Saddam and his dog  by freezing them with a fire extinguisher only to have them come back together ala "Terminator II" into a new hybrid dog/Saddam.  This movie also proves to me that I will basically watch anything with Lloyd Bridges in it.  Final description: four words: over the top stupidity.

Ratings

Snobs:  Skip it

Saddam: Skip it

People looking for Leslie Nielsen: Skip it

Frat brothers: See it again

Can't be bothered to get off the couch:  Let it play

On a scale of "Willow" to "Wall Street", I give Hot Shots: Part Deux 2.3 out of 5 stars.


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Moneyball (2011)



I like baseball movies.  In fact, I just love baseball.  This is a  baseball story told by a jaded insider.  It's made all the more jaded by how often the film goes out of it's way to mention baseball romanticism or how "superstitions" rule all.  But the fact of the matter is that this movie probably presents a more accurate understanding of modern professional baseball then we, the casual die-hard fans, would care to know.  I thought Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill made an unlikely, but generally appealing tandem.  Phillip Seymour Hoffman was wasted on this movie.  I'm not exactly sure why he agreed to do it.  The most important critical remark I can make about "Moneyball" is that Arron Sorkin really knows how to craft a story.  At the beginning of the movie, I didn't understand why there wasn't more focus on the sport, and on the stats.  That would have seemed the logical and simpler story-line to follow.  But, Arron Sorkin knew better than to make this film a fantasy baseball manager's holy grail, and he was right.  I actually liked how the movie worked to establish the truly human element of the game.

Ratings

Fan's of "The Natural":  Skip it

Fantasy Baseball Mgrs:  See it

Don Quixote:  See it

Peter Gammons:  Probably saw it

Ken Burns-aphiles:  Skip it

On scale of strike em' out, throw 'em out double plays to crazed fan loose in the outfield, I give "Moneyball" 2.8 stars out of 5.

Monday, January 2, 2012

St. Elmo's Fire (1985)



First off, this song is underrated and awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaGsbv2skr8&feature=related .  More movies should have theme songs that include the name of the movie.    Of all of the "brat pack" 80's movies, this one had soul, integrity, grit and unfortunately was slightly forgettable.  I do like that it took on the topic of post college graduation malaise at a time when getting an undergraduate degree was seen as a true accomplishment.  I can't think of any films on this topic since "The Graduate".  In total the film followed the strict John Hugh-esque format of providing a kaleidoscope of characters tackling various post college problems:  spending too much money, love, independence, adulthood, career choices, marriage, etc.  There were many things to like about this movie.  Rob Lowe looked great with a feathered mullet.  Watching Rob Lowe deal with his really awkward saxophone prop was equally awesome.  I also found it interesting to count how many scenes had alcohol of some sort in them. (basically every scene.)  Lastly, the cast seemed to have a very nice ensemble factor that improved the overall movie.

Ratings:

People listing to "glory days":  See it

Korean business tycoons: See it

Georgetown graduates: See it

Saxophiles:  Miss it

Greeting card distributors: Miss it

On a scale of Dr. Vegas to Settlers of Catan, I give St. Elmo's Fire a 2.7 out of 5 stars.    

The Departed (2006)



I typically like Martin Scorsese movies.  It think it has to do with his understanding of when and how to make a cut.  The Departed was no exception.  This movie had a great cast, above average theme music, and superb pacing.  I especially like the deft way that Scorsese got through all the prologue without getting bogged down in minutia.  Scorsese sure knows how to get a movie started.  The only actor's performance that I wouldn't give at least a 8 out of 10 was Matt Damon.  Personally, the character lacked an on screen moment of self-doubt.  Somehow, I missed an opportunity to see him without his facade.  On the flip side, I very much enjoyed the performance of Vera Farmiga as doctor/girlfriend of Damon/DeCaprio.  I especially like the way that I could see the moment she "broke" and internally broke up with Matt Damon.  Some of the positives were:  killer dialogue filled with cursing; Kudos Marky Mark Whalberg, the pure paranoia that was Leonardo DeCaprio, and Jack Nicholson's unadulterated contempt for everyone but himself.

Ratings:

Forensic Psychologists:  See it

Frat Boys: See it

Snitches:  See it

Family Values Committees: Skip it

People with clinical "trust" issues: Skip it

On a scale from Jordash jeans to Hammer pants, I give The Departed 4 out of 5 stars.