Ocean's 11 (2001)

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?
Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?
Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?
Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.
Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

Reuben: [as Danny and Rusty are leaving Reuben's home after lunch] Look, we all go way back and uh, I owe you from the thing with the guy in the place and I'll never forget it.
Danny: That was our pleasure.
Rusty: I'd never been to Belize.

Completing my tour de Ocean's trilogy, 11 is clearly the best. It has the best dialogue; the leanest of the casts, and does a great job and effortfully exuding cool.

I had forgotten that earring clad Joshua Jackson is in this. A part of me also wanted to write this review like I was Rusty and always mmphh eat...ing.

What I think Ocean's 11 does so well is the narrative structure that supports both telegraphing the play and supporting the big reveal. This is not easy. The writers deserve extra attention and adulation for the job they did in this regard. It's in the way that Saul just asks the central question of the heist at the beginning and we forget about it.

3.93 out of 5, Worth is every time.

Ocean's 12 (2004)

Danny Ocean:  Do I look 50 to you? 

Basher: Yea...but only from the neck up....

Ocean's 12 is the weak link in this trilogy. Sequels that go to Europe are just cliche -like 'sexy voiced secretaries". 

The big reveal is underwhelming and the introduction of a few more characters leaves less time for those we knew.  -though hats of to Eddie Izzard, Robbie Coltrane, Jared Harris, and Catherine Zeta Jones. 

Why is it that even though I know the play, for me and for other Americans I assume, I continue to buy into the brand that Europe is sophisticated and glamorous? I've been. And I've met Europeans. I can base my heuristic shortcuts on experience...yet centuries of colonial power positioning remain. 

You kind have to watch this to complete the trilogy so...there's that. 

2.4 out of 5 for the ensemble and the dialogue, but not much beyond that. The plot is pure lunacy. 

Labyrinth (1986)

"The bog of eternal stench"-everyone
"The babe with the power" -Jareth

Short:  There is something to be said for flat out weirdness. No quarter given by the artists to external pressure. It's doing trapeze without a net. It's bold, refreshing and often terrible. Labyrinth is all those things and unmistakably 100% original. If you love puppets/muppets, David Bowie, and passion projects then, by all means watch Labyrinth.  The price of enjoyment is an abandonment of preconception. Perhaps there should be a several hour cooling off period in an oubliette pre-viewing?

Long: How is that certain movies can just be so earnest that you forgive them everything? I've been known to give up on Hollywood schlock for minor errors or if one small technical detail fails, yet for Labyrinth, it's many many many errors and silliness just don't matter. I love it. It's just a puppet fantasia with a dark twist. And those puppets are just so awesome.  Each one has character, personality, and presence. I think Jim Henson deserves the dark title of "Master of Puppets". I can't claim or measure what makes a movie forgivable, but I hope you, dear reader, enjoy Labyrinth as much as I do. -Oh and David Bowie, that really should seal it as a classic for anyone.

3.6 or 2.0 stars depending on one's ability to dream. 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Kylo Ren: Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be.

Kylo Ren: The Resistance is dead, the war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi!

Luke Skywalker: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.

My Gist: See it. The Last Jedi (TLJ) is the rare squared circle that manages to be part of a corporate menagerie and yet art at the same time (flaws and all).

Considering Context: I have had to remind myself that Rian Johnson is 44 years old. His HHS graduation song would have been "Smells Like Teen Spirit".  He's a Gen X-er. And I can't help but wonder how the themes he's playing with are a part of our larger generational communications. George Lucas was a very early boom (b. 1944) The world he grew up in was, in a large part, created to meet the needs of the boomer cohort; new schools, expanded universities, suburbs, power grids, healthcare, etc. With these gifts, the original trilogy can be seen as a promise by Lucas to his forebears to continue and win the fight against the darkness of the past. (Nazi's etc.) The prequel trilogy is in a sense, a treatise on how evil is product of apathy, self-interest, and complacency. A map for how new generations can avoid the same traps.

And here comes, Rian Johnson ,who from having watched TLJ, sees merit in burning down everything, starting from scratch, and killing every sacred cow. One thought is that, as a Gen X-er, he does not feel the same level of need to take on the mantle from Lucas. Gen-Xers existed in a world built for those that preceded them. It had cracks, its reality fell short of its promise, and it didn't fit their particular needs. -Yes, Star Wars is a part of that promise. All this goes double, if not triple, for my own generation. The solutions/conflicts/institutions of the past are relevant, but ultimately shackles on progress. Fire cleanses and rejuvenates.

It doesn't end the story.  The story never ends, but it must evolve.

3.7 out of 5 -There are some pretty glaring story issues for my money, but none of that matters when talking about our shared cultural tradition.

Oh and I didn't really like Rose Tico.  -However, I would encourage use of her character in subsequent movies.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Hercule Poirot -"Oh Mr. Dickens....hahaha"

The Short: In a fit of old-school storytelling, tradition, and historical style, Murder On The Orient Express was conceived to show-off character performance, ensemble acting, and the power of subtlety. (These are all the things I enjoy!) Unfortunately, despite all of the successes of the excellent cast, production, storytelling, and classic techniques, the whole movie seems wildly mismatched and out of touch. -falling flat only in that the audience has changed (including me). Needless, I am left asking if clinging to my cinematic vanity points is worthwhile. 

Musing: At my heart, I may be a reductionist. I like it when the story, and characters are contained. It creates pressure and tension seamlessly. -Agatha Christie was a master of this. (The bridge is out. The cabin is snowed in. The train is derailed -We'll have to find the murderer ourselves). So, having read the book, I knew that I was in for a contained story, with a brilliant, meticulous set, with limited CGI, and character drama.  The use of above head shots and the train construction were my favorite parts. 

Seriously, what an All-Star cast!  Derek Jacobi has to play the Butler. Johnny Depp has to play the corpse. It's sad that the low performance was Josh Gad. 

But the winner of all things in my opinion was Poirot's moustache. 

One thing that I think upends Murder On the Orient Express is the dissonance between the movie and the trailer Trailer.  It's just sold in the wrong way to jibe with the older style cinema on screen. 

2.7 out of 5 stars.  It's like watching a grand old ship of the line sink in the harbor; glorious, but ultimately surpassed. 

      

A Christmas Prince (2017)

Andy: Where there's a Tiara, there's dirt. Trust me.

Judgement: I palpably feel the judgement of my one consistent reader. Stop it!  This should be a judgement free blog. I bear my thoughts on the media I consume and occasionally I ingest garbage of the highest order. I admit it, I sprayed the film equivalent of whip cream from a can directly into my mouth. -mwhhhh.  AAAAAAAKKKKK!

Musings: A Christmas Prince is LITERALLY the worst. There is really no reason anyone of sound mind, body, and soul need watch it, ever. Thus it can be guaranteed to generate a cult following for its unrepentant schlock. A Christmas Prince is what happens when a large corporate entity knows with precision what its viewers want-like they are collecting data on us. Take the top 200 things that views liked about similar movies and put them together, voila, A Christmas Prince; the most typical princess Christmas holiday movie ever.  Made by a marketing team for the desires of marketable people. Netflix's version of clickbait.  -I guess this now includes me (face palm).

Please check out that even Netflix is throwing shade at people who watch this. I promise I only watched it the once.    SHADE

1.1 out of 5 stars.   It is, in fact, a thing. 

Victoria & Abdul (2017)

Queen Victoria: I am cantankerous, greedy, fat, I am perhaps disagreeably attached to power, but I am anything but insane!

Statement: I am generally a fan of pseudo-histories. They are just enjoyable. They aren't false. They just aren't necessarily true. It's a chance to not play with outcomes, but rather to play with relationships and reasoning. In the case of Victoria & Abdul, the film tells the story of old Queen Victoria and her cultural/spiritual advisor/life coach from India, Abdul. It is historical, completely made up, dramatic, and hysterical all in a confused jumble. And, that makes it an out of sorts wonderful.

Musings: What is stopping more fake histories from being.  -Yes there was Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...but whatever- what if JFK had a secret guru helping him with speeches? -How about Churchill's secret group of D&D players? The ideas are just fun to play with. As to Victoria & Abdul, I was pleasantly surprised with Dame Judy Dench's old Victoria performance. I confess, I knew very little about her final years, but she nailed the funny aspects of abhorrent privilege.

Again, Adeel Akhtar was perfect in his role. -and I will watch anything with Eddy Izzard. He made a great Edward IIV.

3.3 of 5 -Watch it. -thought I suspect there may be wildly divergent opinions on this one.