Labyrinth (1986)

"The bog of eternal stench"-everyone
"The babe with the power" -Jareth

Short:  There is something to be said for flat out weirdness. No quarter given by the artists to external pressure. It's doing trapeze without a net. It's bold, refreshing and often terrible. Labyrinth is all those things and unmistakably 100% original. If you love puppets/muppets, David Bowie, and passion projects then, by all means watch Labyrinth.  The price of enjoyment is an abandonment of preconception. Perhaps there should be a several hour cooling off period in an oubliette pre-viewing?

Long: How is that certain movies can just be so earnest that you forgive them everything? I've been known to give up on Hollywood schlock for minor errors or if one small technical detail fails, yet for Labyrinth, it's many many many errors and silliness just don't matter. I love it. It's just a puppet fantasia with a dark twist. And those puppets are just so awesome.  Each one has character, personality, and presence. I think Jim Henson deserves the dark title of "Master of Puppets". I can't claim or measure what makes a movie forgivable, but I hope you, dear reader, enjoy Labyrinth as much as I do. -Oh and David Bowie, that really should seal it as a classic for anyone.

3.6 or 2.0 stars depending on one's ability to dream. 

Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)

Kylo Ren: Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to. That's the only way to become what you are meant to be.

Kylo Ren: The Resistance is dead, the war is over, and when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi!

Luke Skywalker: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.

My Gist: See it. The Last Jedi (TLJ) is the rare squared circle that manages to be part of a corporate menagerie and yet art at the same time (flaws and all).

Considering Context: I have had to remind myself that Rian Johnson is 44 years old. His HHS graduation song would have been "Smells Like Teen Spirit".  He's a Gen X-er. And I can't help but wonder how the themes he's playing with are a part of our larger generational communications. George Lucas was a very early boom (b. 1944) The world he grew up in was, in a large part, created to meet the needs of the boomer cohort; new schools, expanded universities, suburbs, power grids, healthcare, etc. With these gifts, the original trilogy can be seen as a promise by Lucas to his forebears to continue and win the fight against the darkness of the past. (Nazi's etc.) The prequel trilogy is in a sense, a treatise on how evil is product of apathy, self-interest, and complacency. A map for how new generations can avoid the same traps.

And here comes, Rian Johnson ,who from having watched TLJ, sees merit in burning down everything, starting from scratch, and killing every sacred cow. One thought is that, as a Gen X-er, he does not feel the same level of need to take on the mantle from Lucas. Gen-Xers existed in a world built for those that preceded them. It had cracks, its reality fell short of its promise, and it didn't fit their particular needs. -Yes, Star Wars is a part of that promise. All this goes double, if not triple, for my own generation. The solutions/conflicts/institutions of the past are relevant, but ultimately shackles on progress. Fire cleanses and rejuvenates.

It doesn't end the story.  The story never ends, but it must evolve.

3.7 out of 5 -There are some pretty glaring story issues for my money, but none of that matters when talking about our shared cultural tradition.

Oh and I didn't really like Rose Tico.  -However, I would encourage use of her character in subsequent movies.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Hercule Poirot -"Oh Mr. Dickens....hahaha"

The Short: In a fit of old-school storytelling, tradition, and historical style, Murder On The Orient Express was conceived to show-off character performance, ensemble acting, and the power of subtlety. (These are all the things I enjoy!) Unfortunately, despite all of the successes of the excellent cast, production, storytelling, and classic techniques, the whole movie seems wildly mismatched and out of touch. -falling flat only in that the audience has changed (including me). Needless, I am left asking if clinging to my cinematic vanity points is worthwhile. 

Musing: At my heart, I may be a reductionist. I like it when the story, and characters are contained. It creates pressure and tension seamlessly. -Agatha Christie was a master of this. (The bridge is out. The cabin is snowed in. The train is derailed -We'll have to find the murderer ourselves). So, having read the book, I knew that I was in for a contained story, with a brilliant, meticulous set, with limited CGI, and character drama.  The use of above head shots and the train construction were my favorite parts. 

Seriously, what an All-Star cast!  Derek Jacobi has to play the Butler. Johnny Depp has to play the corpse. It's sad that the low performance was Josh Gad. 

But the winner of all things in my opinion was Poirot's moustache. 

One thing that I think upends Murder On the Orient Express is the dissonance between the movie and the trailer Trailer.  It's just sold in the wrong way to jibe with the older style cinema on screen. 

2.7 out of 5 stars.  It's like watching a grand old ship of the line sink in the harbor; glorious, but ultimately surpassed. 

      

A Christmas Prince (2017)

Andy: Where there's a Tiara, there's dirt. Trust me.

Judgement: I palpably feel the judgement of my one consistent reader. Stop it!  This should be a judgement free blog. I bear my thoughts on the media I consume and occasionally I ingest garbage of the highest order. I admit it, I sprayed the film equivalent of whip cream from a can directly into my mouth. -mwhhhh.  AAAAAAAKKKKK!

Musings: A Christmas Prince is LITERALLY the worst. There is really no reason anyone of sound mind, body, and soul need watch it, ever. Thus it can be guaranteed to generate a cult following for its unrepentant schlock. A Christmas Prince is what happens when a large corporate entity knows with precision what its viewers want-like they are collecting data on us. Take the top 200 things that views liked about similar movies and put them together, voila, A Christmas Prince; the most typical princess Christmas holiday movie ever.  Made by a marketing team for the desires of marketable people. Netflix's version of clickbait.  -I guess this now includes me (face palm).

Please check out that even Netflix is throwing shade at people who watch this. I promise I only watched it the once.    SHADE

1.1 out of 5 stars.   It is, in fact, a thing. 

Victoria & Abdul (2017)

Queen Victoria: I am cantankerous, greedy, fat, I am perhaps disagreeably attached to power, but I am anything but insane!

Statement: I am generally a fan of pseudo-histories. They are just enjoyable. They aren't false. They just aren't necessarily true. It's a chance to not play with outcomes, but rather to play with relationships and reasoning. In the case of Victoria & Abdul, the film tells the story of old Queen Victoria and her cultural/spiritual advisor/life coach from India, Abdul. It is historical, completely made up, dramatic, and hysterical all in a confused jumble. And, that makes it an out of sorts wonderful.

Musings: What is stopping more fake histories from being.  -Yes there was Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter...but whatever- what if JFK had a secret guru helping him with speeches? -How about Churchill's secret group of D&D players? The ideas are just fun to play with. As to Victoria & Abdul, I was pleasantly surprised with Dame Judy Dench's old Victoria performance. I confess, I knew very little about her final years, but she nailed the funny aspects of abhorrent privilege.

Again, Adeel Akhtar was perfect in his role. -and I will watch anything with Eddy Izzard. He made a great Edward IIV.

3.3 of 5 -Watch it. -thought I suspect there may be wildly divergent opinions on this one. 

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

[the Hulk takes on Surtur]
Thor: Hulk, no! For once in your life, don't smash!
Hulk: But giant monster!

Short:  How is that colourful, if not enchanting storytelling, with capable actors feel so soulless? I really enjoyed Thor: Ragnok, but I can't shake the feeling that something is missing. What that is I can't quite say. (Maybe that's on me.) What I can say, is that Thor: Ragnarok was highly enjoyable return to extremely old styles of telling. It was also very funny.

Musing: I am not generally one to place color and music before emotion and depth, but in this case, my preconceptions were wrong. -Explosive use of color, Framed visual constructs, and a fantastically electro-pop score by Mark Mothersbaugh (of DEVO!!) were essential to the final positive product. On these scales, Thor: Ragnarok is a class above. -Superb. As to Thor representing older storytelling, I've been thinking about why those with one eye, can always see clearer? Odin had one eye. Oedipus lost both his. Urza was the Blind Seer. Zatoichi is unmatched with a sword, and Daredevil. It seemed somehow natural that Thor (spoilers) looses his eye only to fully understand the prophecy of Ragnarok. The destruction one brings will be one's salvation.

3.3 out of 5 -See it. (Listen to it most of all.)

The Big Sick (2017)

Emily: [Whilst using her phone to book an uber] Listen, I had a really nice time, thank you very much. I'm just going to like, call an Uber, go home and I hope
[gets interrupted by Kumail's phone alert]
Emily: Just...
Kumail: [showing Emily the Uber request] Your driver will be ready as soon as he puts on his pants.

Oh what oh what do sad jokes do to turn that corner and generate laughter and empathy? It's like the pain that comes from when one cannot accept that a just world would continue to rain evil spirits on a single individual. -It just gets funnier and funnier. We the viewers demand that the karmic wheels flip over.

That was The Big Sick for me. Yeah it had some levity, but most of the jokes and situations just get worse and worse and worse, and thus long term chuckles ensue. But, if you aren't down for The Office level of cringe worthy pain...this might not be your bag. To me, very understated.

This was my first of two movies, with Adeel Akhtar. IMDB I hope he gets more roles.

3.3 out of 5 -I would encourage viewership.

Their Finest (2016)

"I'll need an Acting Coach credit." -Ambrose Hilliard

Short So, I think Their Finest was meant to be be a comedy and if that was the case, it strayed from its purpose. I didn't really laugh. Yet, I found the drama charming. There was great deal to be proud of in a meta story about the production of a film.

Long: Somewhere around 2013-14 there must have been a rush/buying streak for stories about Dunkirk. There is the film Dunkirk and then Their Finest, which is a film about the making of a movie about Dunkirk. I find it remarkable that there would be such historical credence given to a single WWII story -of an Allied loss, might I add- why is now the time for the film industry to collectively explore how to turn a defeat into a victory? And if so, what do writers, directors, producers think audiences can take away from this process.  Are we subconsciously expecting military/economic defeat in the future? Are we preparing to subvert reality in new and terrifying ways? How can we turn the rise of Nationalists or Anarchists or Birthers into a a heroic tale of defeat with purpose?

3.2 out of 5 -See it if you have the time. 

The Circle (2017)

Eamon Bailey: Circulars, Do you like to share?
Everyone: Sharing is Caring

Eamon Bailey: We're so fucked.

Short: The Circle is an aimless, underdeveloped tech/spy thriller that fails miserably across most if not all measures.  However, if one abandons a historical (or really any) perspective; then The Circle becomes a frighteningly amoral tale of group think futurism run amok. -Chilling.

Long: For some reason, I couldn't help but think that the creators of The Circle were looking to remake 1987's The Running Man. I know you think I am joking, but I am not. Our protagonist commits a crime and suddenly her world is broadcast out 24hrs a day for the entertainment of the masses and as a way to ensure her compliance. Internet masses are the new gameshow crowds. Then later, we/The Circle/the internet find criminals and friends alike through a gamified system. The whole world of the The Circle has become The Running Man.

What's more interesting is that The Circle seems to have been written by a corporate marketing board. And I think that was the intention of the writers. (They buried the point...but brilliantly.) Our future will have been product tested, solutionified, actioned, and branded. The truth will not be entwined with beauty, it will be tied to profits, simplicity, and the death of pain points.

2.78 out of 5: Honestly, this may be the kind of movie that college kids get to watch 20 years from now and talk about our present. I really don't envision anyone every casually coming across The Circle rebroadcast on TBS, so I don't advise making extra effort to see it. -but if you do, listen to everything backwards while on your head looking in a mirror.