On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

"This never happened to the other fellow." -James Bond

"He had a lot of guts." -James Bond (A man just fell into a mulching snow blower)

Thesis:  On Her Majesty's Secret Service (OHMSS) is a bad movie, but nowhere near it's reputation.

Yes, this James Bond does not star Sean Connery. That's what I think people don't like about OHMSS. Sean Connery was Bond. George Lazenby is not Connery; therefore he cannot be Bond.

And I think ol' Georgey is done a great disservice for being the Bond flung into the dark fan shadow created by Connery. Anyone would have failed -especially with this movie.

All in all George Lazenby was a completely acceptable if not capable James Bond. Certainly no flash...but certainly little to complain about.

Now the less said about the movie, the better.

The best things about it are....Diana Rigg....and maybe Telly Savalas.

It took 6 movies, but I think I will declare Diana Rigg as the Contessa Tracy Di Vicenzo to be the most/first complete female character of the series.

Yet, I cannot deny the utter failure of the rest of the OHMSS. I think ski based spy films, or even just winter films in general, face an uphill battle, based on geography, weather requirements, and the technical challenges of filming on white; yet something about winter activities and their required gear betray a certain class that just has a shallower appeal. -beaches are free and casual, skiing is about money, gear, glasses, skill, and it's cold.

I just want to take a moment to laugh at the plot. Evil Man moves from Volcano Lair to Chalet of Doom to conduct experiments on beautiful women from across the globe to make them carriers of crop infertility. Then he tries to extort the world.

*Spoilers* And to my knowledge, Ernst Stavro Blofeld was captured when he ran into that tree after the harrowing bobled chase.....but somehow that didn't seem to matter when he showed up to kill the Contessa as a stinger.

So yeah, it's just a bad movie...not spectacularly so.

On a scale of Contessa Tracy Di Vicenzo to Queen of Thorns, I give On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2.4 out of 5 stars.