The Blues Brothers (1980)

" I hate Illinois Nazis." (Jake Blues)

"We had a band powerful enough to turn goat piss into gasoline." (Donald Duck Dunn)

"Ya got my cheesewhiz boy?"  (Old man to Elwood)

I could write three real entries about how much this film rocks..but I guess I'll just keep it short.

I love The Blues Brothers because:
 if my church was like this, I would go every night. 1
because every movie should have John Lee Hooker in it.
because this whole sequence, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDFDLCd5IOg, makes me happy.  And it inspired this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmG0DqhfDbY

because their horn section includes Blue Lou Marini, Tom Bones Malone, and Mr. Fabulous
because Steven Spielberg and Frank Oz make awesome cameos
because Cab Calloway was the man
because this movie taught me about "Rawhide" and "Stand by your man"
oh and Nazis fly off unfinished bridges.

Ratings
From Chicago?:  See it
Can Watoosie?:  See it
John Candy:  See it
Police Cars:  Skip it (This movie is the Rambo of Police Car destruction and incompetence.)
Carrie Fisher:  See it

On a scale from dry white toast to 4 friend chickens and a coke, I give The Blues Brothers 3.87 out of 5 stars.

Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan (1982)

"KHANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!"  (James T. Kirk)  -as if I would ever choose a different quote

I've only seen this movie three times.  My first time was on TV with my brother in roughly 1990.  The second time was during a Star Trek movie-athon in a friend's basement in roughly 1995.  And last Friday 2013.

Strange that this of all movies is the one that broke through and saved Star Trek.  So powerful is the connection and absurdity of Wrath of Khan that I share this anecdote.  I was teaching Japanese at a camp back in 2008 and, as staff, we were looking for ways to encourage our campers to pick up their trash and recycle.  We. as older staff all born in the 80's, thought it would be funny to make a play on the homonym of "Khan" and the Japanese pronunciation of the word "can".  Everyday, if we had found trash, we would admonish our campers by saying "hey, what is this?"  これは何ですか？and the answer was "かーーーーーーーーーーーーーーん！”  "Khan!!!!".  It was funny and for a time it worked.  We saw less trash around camp as the campers remembered to pick up their garbage.  However, after a certain number of meals with no trash, our campers got fed up and started leaving garbage around camp, just ensure that we would have to yell for Khan.

The Wrath of Khan is a seminal piece of nerddom and general social cannon.  It is powerful example of how movies, even very silly ones, still echo throughout our culture.

As movies go though.......

Ratings:

Bester: See it
Got brain slugs in your ear?:  See it
Retinal Scan technicians:  See it  (yeah...retinal scans were crazy out of reach technology in STIII)
Kristie Alley:  See it
Love Star Trek?:  See it again

On a scale of The Genesis device to Genesis with Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins, I give Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan 3.5 out of 5 stars.  
  

The Rescuers (1977)

"Ughhhhh Sir, There are thirteen steps on this ladder."  (Bernard)

If you are a fan of this blog, (I'm not sure there are any fans...but) be prepared for a variation on a theme post.  I've written several times about how films age over time and how the movies of youth in general don't hold upon inspection as an adult.  This is the case with The Rescuers.  I still love it.  But, I can't help but notice the glaring plot holes and storytelling errors that I glossed over as a child.  -New Product bolt of lightning!!!  Child Goggles!!!!  (patent pending)-  I guess this is just the way of aging.

Now for me to go on a tear about how The Rescuers will remain cool basically forever.

1.  The cast is nothing but All-Stars.  Eva Gabor and Bob Newhart are perfect.  I also like just about anything with Pat Buttram and Joe Flynn.  (Mr. Haney ahahahahahahahah)
2.  It's beautiful.  This film is water color magic.
3.  The plot is that a little girl is kidnapped to steal a pirate diamond out of a cave while living on a abandon riverboat.
4.  All the animal friends.  My personal favorite is the old turtle who is still wearing his Civil War Southern military cap.
5.  That amazingly cool swamp boat that Medusa drives.
6.  That I still laughed to watch Medusa waterski on Alligators.
7.  The soundtrack sounds like Burt Bacharach, but isn't Burt Bacharach

Ratings

Kids: See it
Orphans:  Maybe skip it because of the kidnapping...or see it for the ending
United Nations: See it
Wear Fake Eye-lashes?:  See it
Sensitive to Southern Swamp Stereotypes:  Skip it

On a scale of "Off we go into the wild blue yonder" to "Flight of the Valkyries", I give The Rescuers 3.3 out of 5 stars.

Safety not Guranteed (2012)

"Wanted:  Someone to go back in time with me.  This is not a joke." (AD from the movie)

Wow!!  Here's to a movie my roommate said I should watch because it had people from "The League", "New Girl", and "Parks and Rec", in it.  I'm often swayed into thinking that a movie will be good because people who I think are OK in somethings are cast in the film, but, YEAH!!    Safety Not Guaranteed is wonderful.

I think what I loved most about this film was just the pure concept.  Three people from a magazine go out to coastal Washington to interview and learn more about someone who put an ad in a magazine looking for a partner to go back in time with.  Something about that is just brilliant.  It's like leaving most of the canvas blank so one can talk about all the things that are important to the idea of going back in time.  Why do you go back?  What  reasons are good enough for going back?  Is regret a pure motivation?  Can we ever go back in time without the machine? (Spoiler)  And now more than 24hrs post view... I am extremely happy that nothing gets truly resolved at the end.  A: It didn't matter...and B:  It was the point of the movie.  Things can't be resolved.

Ratings

New Girls:  See it

Time Travelers:  See it

Fantasy Football Fans: Skip it

Wallowers: See it

Screenwriter:  See it

On a scale of driving a Delorean at 87 MPH to driving a Delorean at 88 MPH, I give Safety not Guaranteed 3.8 out of 5 stars.

The Sting (1973)

"I put it all on Lucky Dan to win, half a million dollars."  (Doyle Lonnegan)
"Not only are you a cheat, you're a gutless cheat as well." (Doyle Lonnegan)
"Luther said I could learn something from you.  I already know how to drink." (Johnny Hooker to Henry Gondorff)
"What was I supposed do? -Call him for cheating better than me, in front of the others." (Doyle Lonnegan)

I've heard the term "caper movie" as a standard genre recently and I thought I should go back and watch what I consider to be the original caper movie.  (Is it really the first caper movie.....?  Probably not.  But, if you have older suggestions...I am all ears.)

Caper movies for me are all about the con within the con.  It's all about making the audience "the mark", only the audience should know they have been taken at the end, not befuddled as to what actually happened.  Ok.  That seems simple enough.  But, it's actually an incredibly complicated and difficult bit of storytelling.  If you give away the con before the climax...the whole movie is ruined.  If you don't lay breadcrumbs and foreshadowing about the impending con, the whole thing falls flat as extremely anti-climactic.  I've seen this done in a variety of ways through many movies, but I think The Sting's solution of presenting the movie in segments like a good essay outline, complete with Act cards and wipes, is my favorite and extremely elegant.  Wipes give the audience a sense that even what they are being shown is possibly a con and The Cards lend legitimacy to each step of a plan that is known to the characters but not to us.

Here are some other things I love about "Caper" movies and The Sting in particular.  I love how all the good guys that we are cheering for are actually the bad guys.  (Their goal is to steal stuff after all.)  I love the signals that  are used to assemble a team.  In The Sting they use the classic three taps on the nose.  I love that nicknames are dropped without cause or explanation.  Some of my favorite nicknames come from con-artists grifters and Jazz musicians.  (Caper movies most of the time involve both.)

Oh I also think Robert Shaw is just great in everything.

Ratings:

Snake oil salesmen:  See it

On the lamb?:  See it

Got yourself a spiffy maroon pinstripe suit?:  Oh John Hooker...you be looking good.

Kid Twist?:  Harold Gould you are awesome.

Dicks:  Must see

On a scale from the ol' lookie loo to the Kansas City Shuffle, I give The Sting 4.2 out of 5 stars.

Taken 2 (2012)

"Your mother and I have been taken.  They are going to come for you." (Liam Neeson)

I agree with a friend of mine who stated that he would have like the movie more if it had been titled "ReTaken".  I also like "Taken......Again".

Sad to say that there was little to no value to be found in the sequel to the forgettable film Taken.  It is a comfort that no one should be ashamed of having written, starred in, produced, or worked for an aspect of Taken 2, but the fact remains that I basically nothing this movie.

I will take the time out to point out a plot whole (Something that I am loath to do on a review blog but....meh) At one point in the film, Liam Neeson instructs his daughter to throw grenades on rooftops so he can hear the explosions and echo-deduce his location.  It was a slightly amusing ploy.  However, I found it weird that there were no consequences for throwing grenades on the roof of a major metropolitan city.  Additionally, If someone was throwing grenades on rooftops. They would very quickly become a target of well all law enforcement.  (Isn't that how one maxs out the police meter on GTAIII?)

I also had the thought about half way through that if this movie was made in 1993-8 it would have starred John Claude Van Dam.  No question.  The script, plot, and action sequences are all JCVD-esque.

Ratings:

Brawler:  Skip it

CIA spooks:  Skip it

Thinking of going to Istanbul?:  Skip it (What was the Istanbul branding and tourism council thinking when they allowed their city to be in the film?)

Famke Janssen:  See it.  (You did a very reasonable job.)

Liam Neeson:  Skip it (Not your best role.)

On a scale from living revenge to revenge from beyond the grave, I give Taken 2 2.35 out of 5 stars.

Ocean's 13 (2007)

"You're a midget in 34 states." (Virgil Malloy) "And an animal in the other 34.        24.  22." (Turk Malloy)

"Oh I told him.  The nose plays." (Rusty Ryan)

"Too fast? You did the bullet train stunt with half of Asia watching?"  (Linus Caldwell)   "*Chinese*" (Yen)  "Wait, that was CGI?" (Rusty Ryan)  "Those weren't your legs?" (Danny Ocean)

"Rules dictate that we've got to offer Bank a Billy Martin." (Danny Ocean)

I love well done ensemble casts.  I think there is a powerfully inimitable zen that can clearly be felt by the audience if all of the actors in a movie are having a good time and are genuinely engaged with each other.  It just feels more real.  I think that at least Ocean's  11 and Ocean's 13 are brilliant examples of inspired casting, great script writing, and incredible leadership by the director.

However, if you were going to see just one.  I would have to say that Ocean's 11 is far better film than Ocean's 13.  This is not to say that Ocean's 13 is not valuable...it's just not as inspired as the original.  Ocean's 13 has the burden of maintaining all of the "Cool" that was established in the first two movies and still keeping the audience engaged.  The solution for this was to pull back the curtain more than in the previous two.  Show how the hustle is done.  Unfortunately, knowing how the game is played ever so slightly ruins the thrill of the deception.  Magic just isn't the same once you know the secrets.

Now for the real main reason why I love Ocean's movies.  Its all about the dialogue.  They're just full of personal zippy phrases and fragments that are for me a joy to watch seasoned actors deliver.  "You're such a wowzer." (Basher to Linus).  I also love the code that they speak in when it comes to the cons.  You don't even have to exactly know what they are talking about get what's going on on a more simplistic and yet more meaningful level.  "He's doing an Irwin Allen." (Linus to Ruben about Rusty) "Livingston, Set him up with a Gilroy." (Danny about Linus)  This time I think I now get what a "Billy Martin" is.  Billy Martin was a former manager of the Twins and Yankees who was routinely always given another chance.  He managed the Yankees for 5 separate stretches.  Funny reference to offer someone a "Billy Martin".

Ratings:

Robbie Coltrane:  Skip it.  I wish you could have been in this one.

Bernie Mac:  RIP  (very sad)

Sinatra:  See it

Ted Nugent:  See it "Get your shirt back."

Hustlers:  See it

On a scale of looking 50 "only from the neck up" to only from the neck down, I give Ocean's 13 3.75 out of 5 stars.

    

Pitch Perfect (2012)

"I ate my twin in the womb." (Lilly)
"Crushed it" (Fat Amy)
"Adding ACCA to anything."  (Me)

I told some people that I saw this movie before I wrote this, and they all immediately gravitated to that I would hate it.  Hmmmm does the rest of my blog lead others believe that I would  note like "Pitch Perfect"?  (Comment if you have an opinion.)

In contrast to the above opinion, I thought Pitch Perfect was thoroughly enjoyable movie.  It's completely worth ones time on a plane or on Netflix or when you're not feeling well and on the couch.  I did not actively seek to watch Pitch Perfect...but I'm glad I've seen it.

I think what I liked about Pitch Perfect was that it simultaneously took itself seriously enough for the audience to have some level of investment, but never forgetting that this a movie about competitive acapella groups in college.  (It's a silly thing -let's be honest.)  (My guess is that the director has seen Road House and knew what to shoot for.  Nice job!)

Secondly basically all the gags, one liners, and horrible puns worked.  They could have fallen flat..but they didn't.  I actually really liked the "nodes" jokes and the you can't quite hear what Lilly is saying jokes.  I give equal credit to the cast and the writers for spot on hyperbolic understanding of how college acapella operates.

Oh the acapella arrangements are very nice.

Ratings:

Sirens: See it

Trads: See it

Hipsters:  Skip it

13-14 year old girls at a sleepover:  See it

John Michael Higgins, Elizabeth Banks, Donald Faison, Jason Jones, and Har Mar SuperStar:  Mos Def.  You were all delightful in your silly bit roles.

On a scale from a fermatta to whole note, I give Pitch Perfect 3.47 out of 5 stars.