"Would that it were so simple?" -Hobie Doyle
"Would that it t'were so simple?" -Laurence Laurentz
"It's all in the hips and the lips, and the eyes and the thighs." -Carlotta Valdez
"You worship a God who doesn't love anyone." -Catholic Clergyman
"Not true. He loves Jews." -Rabbi (Robert Picardo)
Coen brothers be Coen brothers. They make strange amazing movies filled with beautiful shots, impeccable costumes, and quirky characters. Hail, Caesar! is an extremely average and not particularly compelling movie, but....it serves perfectly as a backdrop for the Coen brothers to just go wild with doing whatever they want. Fantastic! No conventions, no rules, no dynamic plot, just hysterical vignettes, gaudy dance numbers, and over the top Jesus metaphors.
In that tradition, here are some random thoughts I had while watching:
-WHY!? did synchronized water films ever go away?
-Alden Ehrenreich: you are a star. I look forward to watching you in everything.
-David Krumholtz! You're in lots of my favorite things. Keep on keeping on.
-Robert Picardo is a far better actor than anyone gives him credit for.
-Big Ridiculous dance numbers are back! Channing Tatum leading the charge.
-If I could just play a bearded fat 49er drunk in a comedic western before I die...
-In 50 years when they make a movie about the cinema business today, will it look so glamorous?
I fully recommend everyone go see Hail, Caesar!. It legitimately has something for everyone.
On a scale of 1:1 allegory to multi-layered metaphor, I give Hail, Caesar! 3.4 out of 5 stars.
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