Delivery Man (2013)

"I'm an incompetent delivery man." -David Wozniak

I watched this on my couch from about 2 to 4 in the morning suffering from jet lag. Anything would do. Delivery Man is what I got.

I've written this review before. I will repeat. DO NOT MAKE REMAKES!  If you can help it, don't watch remakes. At their best they live up the original.  They never surpass them.  Never. (I am patiently waiting for an exception to this rule.)

Delivery Man is a remake of the Canadian hit film Starbuck. I didn't see the original.  It is now on my list.  It must be better than Delivery Man.

Pros:  Vince Vaughn is likeable. Chis Pratt is funny. Andrzej Blumenfeld (The Dad) is cuddly and cast perfectly.

Cons: The plot, the music, the jokes, the dialogue, and more and more.

On a scale of lather to rinse, repeat, I give Delivery Man, 2 out of 5 stars.  

Conan, The Barbarian (1982)

"What is best in life?" -Mongol General
"Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women." -Conan

So I broke my general standard operating procedure and read some reviews by other critics given that I pretty much know my position on Conan; it's awesome. And in doing so, attempted to gain some new perspective on Conan, The Barbarian.

To be simple, I love Conan because: A it is super epic, B its script is just simple -Never has a a main character said less, C Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones), D Mako (The Wizard and the voice of Uncle Iroh), and E the score by Basil Poledouris.  oh and its true and ridiculous 80s-ness.

However, I wanted to see what Roger Ebert thought in 1982 and was stunned that he like me enjoyed the movie for all the above reasons, but he added that he was strangely taken aback by the racial implications of James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom. He found it strange that classically trained Broadway great James Earl Jones would stoop to be a villain with an animal fetish in a rather over the top white man Teutonic myth.

 I understood the movie to be an adaptation of the books. (I've never read them.) So, I did a little research and thinking about how structural racism and nationalism played into the construction of the books/comics. Robert E. Howard wrote the original books and manuscripts between 1932 and 1936 and his works were not published or acclaimed until the late 1940s. I don't think it would be out of the realm of fantasy that a 26 year old writer would use stereotypes and tropes to sell his fantasy to young male readers for pennies.  The biggest strongest white man with a belief in one god, who heeds to no man's authority takes on all others (gods, polytheists, cults, warriors of other races, and more.) with his massive sword/penis. I agree with Mr. Ebert in that if Conan were written by a German of the same era, we would not look so kindly on it.

With that knowledge, I reexamined my thoughts on James Earl Jones's Thulsa Doom. It is clear that Conan and the technical wizardry of the film are supposed to outshine J. E. J. and maintain the structure established by the books. However, I think Thulsa Doom could have easily gone over the top and become Ming The Merciless from Flash Gordon; which not so coincidentally came out in the 18 months before Conan. J.E.J. gives us a character that is clearly educated. Thulsa Doom speaks in big words and thinks about meta-physics and the meaning of life. He takes the trope of megalomaniac thug and turns it around to make Thulsa Doom a despotic visionary. I, for one, am glad that James Earl Jones took the role and made it more than a stereotype.

On a scale of Thulsa Doom to Temple of Doom, I give Conan, The Barbarian 3.6 out of 5 stars.  

Saving Mr. Banks (2013)

"There will be no red in the picture." -Mrs. Travers

What a waste? I don't think I have ever seen a film who's only goal seems to make me want to watch a different movie.  I don't fault the actors who signed up to en masse to be a part of something "special" -Paul Giamatti, Tom Hanks, Emma Thompson, Bradley Whitford, BJ Novak, Jason Schwartzman, Collin Farrell, and more.  They all probably love Mary Poppins and said "I can be part of anything related?! Sign me up!".

Unfortunately, the story of the making of Mary Poppins is just not that interesting and only serves to show how great the original is. (I want to watch it. NOW. The songs are stuck in my head.)

In fact, the more I write about it the more I realize the bungle that was Saving Mr. Banks. Suffice it to say, the inter-cut flashbacks were disjointed, sometimes tangential, and detracted from the whole. Saving Mr. Banks is but an unnecessary shadow cast by a corporation looking to reinvigorate a brand with substance. -There was none to be had.

I will note that there likely is a decent film lurking in the emotionally connective tissue between P.L. Travers' family issues and Mary Poppins. I would look forward to seeing it.

On a scale of Dick Van Dyke as Burt to Dick Van Dyke as Mr. Dawes Sr., I give Saving  Mr. Banks 1.8 out of 5 stars.  

Dead Poet Society (1989)

"Is this a dagger I see before me." -Keating doing a John Wayne impression

"Understanding Poetry,' by Dr. J. Evans Pritchard, Ph.D....If the poem's score for perfection is plotted on the horizontal of a graph and its importance is plotted on the vertical, then calculating the total area of the poem yields the measure of its greatness." -Neil

I think the meaning ascribed to Dead Poets Society has changed recently.  Its own metaphor has looped back upon itself with art imitating life that found new meaning in the same art. At first, I foolishly didn't want to find the answer to "Why?'. What could have changed since I or anyone else last watched Dead Poet Society? But alas, the simplistic and truthful answer starred right at me on the small screen of my personal TV on a plane -"this month our Robin Williams collection".

So for this viewing, I was sad.  Sad for our characters and the lofty expectations placed on them by the school, their parents, and that they saw no chance at change. At other times, I may have latched onto the lessons that our hero Mr. Keating attempted to elicit from his students, and us. "Carpe Diem" he says. "Take in new perspectives" he pleads. "Speak with your voice" he bellows. Such is the magic of the man that they do and we do.

But now it's different. I watched and all I could see was, (and this is simplistic and naive given that I never met the man or know anything about him beyond his celebrity, his comedy, and his acting.) how Robin Williams inspired all of us with insane energy and commitment to craft and art. At his passing, a whole generation is left standing on our desks in salute. And from our new perspective Dead Poet Society has a new indelible and somber meaning.

On to other things.

Dead Poet Society has a crazy cast of youngsters. Ethan Hawke, Josh Charles, Robert Sean Leonard, Kurtwood Smith, and more. It's like watching Freaks and Geeks only to say "Whoa! everybody was in this.".

I have an additional point about animals in film. Dead Poet Society features a scene of one of the boys biking into a field of ducks or geese and they all fly away in a swarm.  It looks really good. But, then I thought about and I have no idea how one trains or corrals a group of birds to act on cue.  It seems ludicrous and expensive. I understand how larger and singular animals (lions, elephants, seals, dogs, cats) work in terms of film, but a host of birds numbering in the 100s?  My hope is that the director noticed they were on the grounds, told everyone to be quiet, set up 4 or 5 cameras in perfect silence, and then sent his actor down the hill towards the flock for one and only one take. I'm glad it worked out.  It looks great.

On a scale of London Symphony to a magician playing saws, I give Dead Poet Society 4 out of 5 stars.    

Begin Again (2014)

"It's a splitter." (Marc Ruffalo)

"Name me one artist who isn't a commodity and branded." (Marc Ruffalo)
"Dylan" (Keira Knightly)
"There could be no one more commercial.  With the sunglasses and the hair.  He changes his look every decade." (Marc Ruffalo)
"Randy Newman" (Keira Knightly)
"*stunned*You got me there." (Marc Ruffalo)

Begin Again made me happy. If nothing else mattered, that would be enough.

The obvious comparison for Begin Again is Once given that they are both by the same director and have musical themes. This seems logical. It even has some validity. However, I am not that interested in the comparison as it draws us away from understanding Begin Again as a unique experience and entity.

I found Begin Again to be rather ingeniously layered in terms of circular narratives and themes. Each character ends up finding a solution and closure to their specific woes through empathy, authenticity, and passion. This is not a new theme, but a good one. It made me think about the power of laughter and music to combat wrath and war.

I've occasionally seen movies with a music theme go poorly. Music movies are easy to make adequate by choosing decent music. Great music movies are hard because they require the creation or selection of perfect jaw droppingly parsimonious music.

In the end, Begin Again has music that inspires, but doesn't overpower. The true strength of this movie are the performances by Keira Knightly (who I haven't really liked since Bend It Like Beckham) and strangely enough Adam Levine. I also just nod approval to movies that cast Mos Def and my man Rob Morrow.

From analog to digital, I give Begin Again 3.7 out of 5 stars.  

The Hundred-Foot Journey (2014)

'Technically, the outside of your wall is public property.  I know this because I had a plan to raise it and obscure your establishment." - Madam Mallory

"Three Stars is only for the Gods." -Margueritte

It is semi-unfortunate that I watched both Chef and The Hundred-Foot Journey in such short succession.  They are so different and deserve to be reviewed separately and without interference.  Unfortunately for Hundred-Foot Journey, it is the lesser of the two films.

Let's start with the positives. I immediately compared Hundred Foot Journey to Chef, but by all rights its two best comparison films are Ratatouille and Grumpy Old Men. A man/rat who thinks he is a cook without training is thrust into the world of high class french food. His world is pulled in two directions by his family and the female love interest with classical chef training. As to Grumpy Old Men, two obnoxious neighbors tussle over everything until they are the best of friends. Generally, I think that film should work hard to prioritize its conflicts and characters into main, secondary, tertiary etc. and dole out screen and plot time accordingly. This is and was the wrong approach for Hundred-Foot Journey. Each and every relationship was critical to the construction of the greater plot.

I will also point out that while I appreciated the strategy of Chef in the use of foley and music to achieve hunger within the audience.  It is not the only way.  Hundred-Foot Journey made me nearly as hungry through an emphasis on the teamwork, spices, and love behind each and every dish. What could a restaurant ever offer to compete with your family's secret recipe?

The only true negative that I felt was the lack of true conflict beyond the introspective. Our main hero leaves the nest for bigger and better things in Paris only to gain new skills and find himself adrift without the family and memory true soul food requires. This is an emotionally uplifting story but not a truly satisfying conflict resolution.

From opening bid to final price take it or leave it, I give The Hundred-Foot Journey 3.68 out of 5 stars.