Cool Runnings (1993)

"Greetings, Sled God!" (Sanka)

So I am currently watching Women's bobsled, and I thought this would be a good opportunity to revisit a "classic".  But, let's get one thing straight:  Cool Runnings is not a classic.  It is a sub par movie that has an amazing soundtrack, reasonable writing, and the legendary John Candy.  I wish that those laudable points were enough change the nature of this Cool beast, but it is not the case.

So one of the things that I noticed when I watched Cool Runnings, this time, was the epic music of Hans Zimmer.  The final sequence's music evokes just the right tone to makes one's heart swell with Jamaican pride.  The soundtrack also features a bevy of era appropriate groovy reggae hits. If you were interested there is the official theme song of the 88 Calgary games. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf0-ltRXAC4

Lastly, I love John Candy.  I wish he hadn't died so young.  This isn't his greatest movie.  But, he makes it sparkle.

On a scale of kissing the lucky egg to frenching the lucky egg, I give Cool Runnings 3.0 out of 5 stars.


  

The Monuments Men (2014)

"Just because we are fighting in a war, doesn't mean we can't eat well." (Private Preston Savitz)

Ughhhhh so, I had just the right amount of anticipation that this film could be good that I believed.  And to a certain level of viewer The Monuments Men may have succeed in passing off its recollectionist and paint by numbers movie as "Art", worth an honorable mention in movie lore.  I applaud all notions and attempts to bring art, history, and the divine to the masses.  We should all look up at the Madonna with Child or gaze at a Seurat with a sense of our shared history and that we are more than just flesh and needs.  Unfortunately, despite its remarkable cast, excellent subject matter, and neat locations, The Monuments Men as a film lacked any sparkle and fizzled like a bad first date.  I am sorry to George Clooney,  I respect you and look forward to better works from you in the future, writing, directing, acting, and otherwise.

On a profound note, my lack of interest in the movie, should not keep you from viewing The Monuments Men when and if you get the chance.  We could all use more art in our lives. I hope the Monuments Men does well and fulfills its mission to inform the populace about the importance of our shared cultural heritage and our obligation to protect that which remains of our history.

On a scale of French rudeness to American brashness, I give The Monuments Men 3.2 out of 5 stars.    

The Birdcage (1996)

"It's a cliche, but.  Think John Wayne." (Armand Goldman)
"Come on, Gloria." (Agador)
"So this is hell.  And there's a crucifix in it." (Armand Goldman)

Sometimes a movie is like a comfy pair of shoes.  It fits well, feels, good and you never want to throw it away.  The Birdcage is one of those movies for me. It is always, consistently hysterical and delightful.  If I watched The Birdcage once a year forever, I probably wouldn't get sick of it.  It isn't that The Birdcage deserves a place in the pantheon of cinema, its just that like a time honored recipe for lasagna it is perfect for being just the way it is.

So go ahead, kick back, and enjoy The Birdcage anytime you can.  The cast is excellent, and the script is punchy. Ovations for Hank Azaria, Calista Flockheart, Christine Baranski, and Gene Hackman.  A standing ovation for Robin Williams, and a roaring cheer for the incomparable Nathan Lane.

On a scale of Myrtle Beach to South Beach, I give The Birdcage 4 out 5 stars.
     

Die Another Day (2002)

"I know all about you. Sex for dinner. Death for breakfast." (Miranda Frost, to James Bond)

I've gotten some flack from other about my contempt for this particular James Bond.  I guess everyone is entitled to their opinion..but this is my blog, so. I would appreciate a counter point in the comments if you must disagree with my assessment.

Until recently, Die Another Day was the only Bond I had never seen. I wanted to like it.  But, I couldn't. Bad is Bad. (And Halle Berry makes the film worse despite her attractiveness.)

I understand and appreciate that a "Bond" film will have a certain degree of undeniable campyness- in fact I like that, but Die Another Day is well beyond camp and into the mythical realm of GI Joe and Cobra.   It's loose fitting extremist tropes and aloof plot are barely capable of leading the viewer to the next gadget and vehicle.  I'm all in favor of conflict diamond launderers with Ice Palaces that control a satellite of death attempting to blow up the DMZ. But for all that potential, Die Another Day is an unwelcome assault on the genre.

Here is a list of the different types of vehicles use in this Bond.  Plane, Hovercraft, Surfboard, High speed ice thingee, Boat, Air glider, and an Invisible car.  Yes, it is a little over the top.

On a scale of Jinx to Pussy Galore, I give Die Another Day 2 out of 5 stars.