Gandhi (1982)

"They may torture my body, break my bones, even kill me, then they will have my dead body. NOT MY OBEDIENCE!" (Gandhi)

"If you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth." (handhi)

"You don't think we're just going to walk out of India!" (Brigadier)
"Yes. In the end, you will walk out. Because 100,000 Englishmen simply cannot control 350 million Indians, if those Indians refuse to cooperate." (Gandhi)

Epic is the only proper term for Gandhi.  I literally can't remember a film since Kurosawa's The Seven Samurai that was so long, intricate, captivating that it could get away with having an intermission.

On the whole, my review is simple.  You should all see it.  If you have seen it.  See it again.  Take the 3 and half hours and use it to think.  If you have children over the age of say 12-13 who could sit through the whole film, they should watch it too.

Now for some fun.  On this viewing, I notice a great deal more.  The cast is so deep with talent.  That I noticed very young stars to be:

Daniel Day Lewis is the racist South African bully who wants to push Gandhi into the dirty street

John Ratsenburger:  Yup, the guy from cheers and the voice of so many Pixar films plays a sergeant that escorts Candice Bergen (Murphy Brown)

Bernard Hill (King Theoden from The Lord of the Rings) is just a lowly lackey for some officer with a silly hat.

Martin Sheen spreads the word as an NY times reporter

Virtually every Indian actor used in Indiana Jones and Temple of Doom.  Its sad that these wonderful actors, excepting in the case of Gandhi, are relegated to obscurity in America except in the case of camp and stereotypes about India.

Stand outs from Gandhi include:
Roshan Seth
Amrish Puri
Saeed Jaffery
Alyque Padamsee

Each of you was amazing.

On a scale of Richard Attenborough as old crazy tycoon who builds himself a Jurassic Park to Richard Attenborough winner of best picture and best director for a historical epic about the non-violent independence of India, I give Gandhi 4.1 out of 5 stars.


 

  

Muppets: Most Wanted (2014)

"Good night, Danny Traejo" (Tina Fey)
"Yeah, I'm am a triple threat: Singin, Dancin, and Murderin." (Danny Traejo)
"Drum Solo. Drum Solo!  DRUM SOLO!!!" (Animal)

Yup.  The Muppets made another sequel.  It is full of silliness, cameos, and all around excellent fun.  If I was 8, I might have loved it even more. Its unfortunate that its predecessor was so good.  If you saw The Muppet Movie, you might feel Most Wanted is sub-par: true in a comparative analysis, but I contend that Most Wanted stands on its own two muppet paws.

Highlights of this romp include:

Dany Traejo dancing
Ricky Gerveis: doing what he does best; smirking while saying something mean
The Lemur
Copious references to how Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem are really just Spinal Tap at heart
oh and seeing Selma Hyack run for life from muppet bulls in an "Indoor Running of the Bulls" is pretty great

On a scale of a 30 second drum solo to a 15 minute drum solo, I give Muppets: Most Wanted 3.3 out of 5 stars.

oh, few films really give off the vibe that they were fun to make from start to finish.  Writing, directing, acting,  everything. I bet everyone involved would sign up again.           

Veronica Mars (2014)

"When number one daughter was young, her skills were sharp like blade of sword. Now, brain dull like blade of plow." (Keith Mars)

I admit that I enjoyed season 1 of Veronica Mars the show, half to 3/4 of season 2 and basically none of season 3.  Which is uncontrollably awesome for a series on the CW about a pintsized very attractive high school, and then regrettably college, super sleuth. Quirky, fun background characters, and occasionally epic writing.

The Veronica Mars movie is lovably more of the same chemistry, tone, and writing that made the show a hit in the first place.  Unfortunately, it was nothing more.  It was like to going to a Phish concert again in your mind for the third time.  Good vibes Man.  Good vibes.  And just like in any good reunion tour, the band can't stop until its played all the hits.  In this case, this meant the movie meandered through finding tangential and plot related ways to include basically every fan favorite character for a cameo.  Everyone.  I mean everyone.

So relax, enjoy, slip on a comfy pair of slippers and eat some Cherry Garcia with a spoon.  Binge on the series and then enjoy the reunion bus tour.

On a scale of UNNECESSARY to a demand curve of infinity, I give the Veronica Mars movie an "I'm glad this was made" out of 5 stars.  

  

Commando (1985)

"Let off some steam, Bennett." (Matrix to Bennet after putting a steam pipe through his chest.)

Two and a half cheers for Commando.  Sometimes it takes Arnnnooold....to establish a genre and put the boots down to an 80s classic.

It's a tough call, but if I were to have to choose only one film to represent the entirety of action movies, I might have to choose commando.  Not because of its plot.  Definitely not because of its acting, Its script is abysmal. And not because of any innovative techniques or firsts.  I choose Commando because IT HAS EVERYTHING that an action movie should.  EVERYTHING.  Commando checks all the boxes.

• One liner after a kill *Check
• Excessive explosions *Check
• Attractive daughter in jeopardy *Check (Alyssa Milano in this case)
• Vague and non-descript Narco-Trafficantes with possible Russian and Communist ties *Check
• One man vs an army goons in a palatial estate *Check
• Montage of our hero suiting up for battle *Check (Arnold goes full war paint)
• A malevolent and diabolical mastermind with no physical prowess coupled with an ex-military buddy related to the hero, who betrayed his country and his team *Check
• This guy Link *Check
• Understated and yet pervasive homo-eroticism *Check
• Attractive sidekick picked up under less than plausible circumstances who turns out to have skills and information absolutely critical to the plot *Check plus
• In the case of Commando, Rae Dawn Chong is an unassuming stewardess that Arnold briefly kidnaps at gun point and then proceeds to know how to fly a plane, fire a rocket launcher, and inform Arnold of the hangouts, politics, and financial models of 80s drug lords in LA.  He's really lucky he found her.

The list could go on and on. 

Commando has EVERYTHING.

On a scale of Rated R in 1985 to Rated R in 2014, I give Commando 2.98 out of 5 stars.